Tim Stoddart – Sober Nation Founder & How to Make It To Midnight


Tim Stoddart – Sober Since March 4, 2010

Founder of Sober Nation and a huge tribe of recovering alcoholics and addicts who have a voice thanks to his platform.

https://sobrietyengine.com/

https://www.timstodz.com/

https://sobernation.com/

https://www.facebook.com/SoberNation/

https://stodzyinternetmarketing.com/

Check out this episode!

Welcome to Self Made & Sober. I’m your host, Andrew Lassise and with me today is Tim Stodzy, the founder of Sober Nation, the CEO of Stodzy Internet Marketing, and an investor who’s been sober since March 4 2010. Tim, how are you?
I’m doing great, man, thank you so much for having me. It’s a pleasure.
Yeah, absolutely. It’s really cool. You know, how people like-minded with, you know, backgrounds in entrepreneurship, backgrounds in recovery, how we can all come together and have a, you know, like, we go through these trials and tribulations in our lives, and then it comes around and you know, we meet some really interesting people with really interesting stories. So why don’t you give us a background on, you know, 2010 what’s going on in your life at that point?
Yeah, I’d be happy to.
Again, thank you so much for having me, having me on your show is always a pleasure to just get to speak to people and tell my story and have an opportunity to meet new people. So I appreciate it. Basically, my story is very similar and also unique in its own way, I’ve kind of learned that, that as different as we all are, it’s there’s a lot of similarities, but between how we get to where we gotta go, so you know, long story short, I, I was always kind of an experimental kid, here a lot felt different. felt just uncomfortable. Basically, everywhere I went, you know, I would be at a party. And I would say something and they just instantly think they’re, like what I said, I shouldn’t have said, and you know, next time I’d be like, I’m just keeping my mouth shut. And then I would just be the quiet kid in the corner and just be like, Man, I wish I knew how to talk to people and, and that feeling. Like you talking about it now. And it sounds so dramatic, but but at the time, that feeling really really just kept me from being myself and meeting people and just kept me super isolated. You know, I was like one of those kids that did everything alone. Still, to this day, I have a lot of those habits, but it’s a little bit more balanced. And, and skateboarding was basically like my way out. I hated school, like really hated it. I felt like school was a prison for me. And so I would get home from school and just instantly jump on my skateboard and just escape all night and now escape all weekend. And, and I really loved it, it was great. And so I continued to kind of have that identity I really identified as just sort of one of those like, Rebel skater kids, like I look, I looked up to people like Tony Hawk and, and Bucky classic, and I just, I really idolized these people. And it’s, it’s all I wanted to do, and it’s I wanted to be so. So by the time I was, like, old enough to wear these isolating habits, and you know, the drug abuse wasn’t just like a thing anymore. It was really, really affecting my life. I was 23 and, like, severely malnourished, and, um, you know, I come from like a working-class family, we, we never went without meals by any means. But you know, never, it was always a struggle for us. And, and I respect families that have to work hard and put in those 60, sometimes 80 hour weeks, because I can relate to that. And finally, it just it came to a screeching halt. Like, my mother had basically a brain, a brain operation, and she really wasn’t going to survive the surgery. And I, we had to fly out to Stanford, California. And the moment in my story that I was talking about was my mom was was wheeled into the hotel room. And she couldn’t really walk anymore, like what she had was on her brainstem and it really affected like her motor skills and kind of had like stroke-like symptoms where her eyes were in sort of different directions. And her face was a little bit lopsided. And she came in to the hotel room where I was and she asked if I would go with her to like the pre op appointment, just because she was really scared. And, you know, I just from Philadelphia, I just got off like a six hour flight. And I was just really, really sick, like, like withdraw sick, dope, sick, and it was terrible. You know, I felt so terrible. And I told my mom that like, I couldn’t go to the pre op with her just because, you know, I was sick, and I needed to kind of do my thing. And I just remember, I don’t know how graphic Dominique I’m trying to keep it kind of cordial, but I remember kind of breaking up these lines on a desk, and, and then looking out the window after I felt that like, sorta relief. And just looking out this window in California being like, ma’am, man, I just told my mom that, like, I wouldn’t be there for her in like, what very well could be the day, like one of the last days of her life. And, and it just fucked to me, you know. And so my mom survived the surgery, and she’s still alive. And my mom’s a badass, you know, but that that was it. And so I got home and my partner and my uncle sorta had a talk with me it was, I wouldn’t call it an intervention, I guess in some ways it was but like everybody knew, you know what I mean? Like my family real tight. And we all just kind of sat down. I was like, all right, like, I need to get some help and dumb. And I did have a real quick relapse about five weeks in. But I just got over that pretty quickly. Basically, what happened, my grandfather died, and I went home to the funeral. And I just I stayed too long. And so then I got my cousin lives in South Florida. And at the time, he was like, three years clean. And I basically just crashed on his couch. And, and he kind of got me started on my path. And I haven’t looked back since.
That’s awesome. And what are some of the strategies that you were using? Was it like 12 step recovery? What was? What was the early sobriety looking like for you?
Yeah, for sure. I definitely am an advocate of the 12 steps. I don’t like push it upon anybody, because it doesn’t necessarily need to be everybody’s foundation. But I love that because of so many people and
I, and I do I’m a product, 12 steps, but like from the podcast, and just meeting so many different people with different perspectives and different stories, it’s like, you know, in, in the rooms, it’s like, it’s 12 step or nothing, like you say that you’re happy and you’re not doing the 12 steps, like you’re lying, you’re not happy and six, I mean, maybe they are like, like, not everyone has to have the same, the same outcome, the same results with you know, trying different things. But I mean, I, I know I’m an I’m a happy customer, but I’m with you, I’m, I used to be the kind of person that was like, You have to do it this way, or else. Sure. It’s like, you know what, man? Like, if you’re happy, like, cool.
Yeah, I totally agree with that i got a lot of different viewpoints on my website on Sober Nation, and you just hear so many different stories and like, like, not everybody has the same. The same circumstances. Like I’ve talked to people that live in the middle of nowhere, and they’re like, you don’t understand , like, there are any meetings. And at first, I think to myself, like, Yeah, whatever. Like, if you really wanted it, you would just go make it happen. And then I have conversations with people in there like, no, bro, like, you don’t get it. Like I live on a farm. Like I’m a farmer, I got no one to talk to. And in a lot of ways, like these online communities have become really great. Like what you’re doing right now, these podcasts. This is why anytime somebody asked me to be on a podcast and talk about my story, like, if it’s a big podcast, if it’s a small podcast, it doesn’t matter, because there’s always somebody listening to it. And it’s like the stories that I think the foundation of all of the recovery, whether it’s 12 steps or smart recovery, or like therapy, or whatever it is, it’s all about just like finding a connection. And however, you find that connection, man, like, that’s, that’s what you gotta do. So I fully support anybody, however, they can get it. It’s important, you know?
Yeah, so early on in recovery, you’re doing 12 steps, you’re with your cousin on his couch, like, what was was there a time in your life where you were, where it kind of like clicked. And it was like, You know what, like, this new way of living. This is now like my norm like this is my default switch like, I am now I am no longer like, Tim, the drug addict, like, I’m Kim, the sober man, like, when did that switch happen for you?
That’s a great question. And, and I was really fortunate, in that I did have like, a real sort of defining moment where that, you know, they call it the obsession was just sort of, I don’t know, if I would ever say that it was lifted, but where I had a clear picture of, of who I wanted to be. Um, so for people that are familiar, I’m going to repeat it anyway. But for people that aren’t, if you join a, there’s a book that we follow, it’s called the big book. But there’s also another book called the 12, and 12. And it goes through in a little bit more detail. The specifics of the steps and, and in the big book itself, there’s Step six, and seven, which don’t really have a whole lot of detail. And in the 12, these two steps go through a lot more detail. And like, and the point of those two steps, it’s, it’s different for everybody and its own way, but like, for me, it was just about saying that it’s okay, to want to be this kind of person, like I just, I was able to paint a real clear picture of the kind of person that I want to be because to me, it was always like those people that just have confidence, and they don’t feel the need to tell everybody how great they are. Because that was me, you know, like, I, when I did talk, I felt like I just was overly arrogant, really, because I just, I was so insecure about myself and what I believed and it just because I didn’t really understand myself, and I didn’t, I just didn’t really have a good like, internal dialogue. And when I read the 12, and two, all I, I was able to really paint this like picture of them up, man, not just like a punk fucking kid. But like a grown man who believed in himself and was stoic enough that he didn’t feel like he needed to shout at the rooftops, but also was confident enough that like, when something needed to be said, he can say his peace without trying to like, convince everybody of his own motives. And, and like, man, after reading that me and my sponsor, at the time, we it took us like four hours because like every sentence, I just felt like I was getting punched with just this clarity. And when I say punch, I mean that like it felt like I was getting hit with these just really clarifying moments of, of like who it was that I wanted to be. And I’m really, really fortunate for that. Because it’s not like that for everybody. Like some people need to just sort of grind it out. And like, there’s not really a defining moment. And if that’s your journey, like, by all means, keep going, you know, but I was so fortunate in that I just had that, that moment where I was able to just say to myself, like, this is who I want to be, and it’s okay to want to work towards being a good person,
you know? And then incredible how it sounds so obvious, like when you say it out loud, it’s like, oh, yeah, if if you want to be a better person, like, there are things you can do to be a better person, but like, in that addict, alcoholic mind, it’s like, these are the cards I was dealt, and I have no control over everything, and I’m a victim. And, you know, we have a lot more control than we really give ourselves credit for. And it’s easier to be living with resentment, living with fear and blaming everything else. But then, you know, you hop into entrepreneurship, and it’s like, it’s difficult to balance that, well. I let go and let God or the I take control because like, I control my destiny. So like, how, how does that look in your life, when you’re trying to balance that? You probably is saying like, the third step versus like, Tim’s the boss, and this is what happens.
That’s a really, really important question. Not just for like other people, but in my life. Because when you’re starting your own business, the word control is, I mean, just in life in general, like that word control, I think about a lot. I really do. Because it’s it’s such as a paradox, you know, because there’s a side of me where I believe that like, if I want something, I have to do the work. And I have to have a plan and structure my day in my time in a certain way to get me closer to this goal. But then there’s another side of me that totally believes that like, the more I try to force things, the the more pain I caused myself and, and ultimately, the more and more I think about it, I come to the same conclusion over and over again. And all I do when I think about this shit is drive myself a little crazy. But I think it’s like important, it’s like, it’s just my way of like daily of reminding myself of this. So when I think about control, here’s, here’s, here’s what it comes down to. The only thing that I ever have control over and the only thing I ever will have control over is just what I do. And I can control what I do. And I can’t control the outcome of what I do. You know, it’s almost perfect timing, because I’m a follower of Seth Godin blog. And the blog that he sent this morning was something about like, winning and losing and how we look at winning and think like, okay, I won, and I did it, right. But there’s plenty of circumstances where like, sure, you might have won, but was your preparation, everything that it needed to be and their circumstances were like, Sure, I lost, but I know, in my heart that, like, my preparation, and my contribution was like, what it needed to be. And so for me, if I just keep context over my actions, and if the things that I do, I know, I do the best that I possibly could have, I have faith in you know, you talk about that third step, I have faith that when I do that, I will go in the direction that I hope to. And, man, you know, it’s worked out for me so far. And sometimes I spent too much time trying to like, quote, figure it out, you know, but at the end of the day, if I just wake up, and I do the shit that I know, I’m supposed to do things just, it just works out.
So you’re responsible for the work that goes in, but not the results. And that’s kind of your take on the let go let God vs. vs like Tim controls, you kind of set your goal and your intention, and then lay out this is what the actions look like, in order to achieve this goal, how whatever, whether or not I achieved the goal, that part of its out of my hands, but I can do my part in the equation to try and make it to, I guess, put the most percentage points in my favor, to get the outcome that I think that I want. Because I know there have been many times in my life where, you know, when you talk about winning versus losing, there have been plenty of times where on paper I lost. But that moment opened up the gates for something gigantic, just for instance, with my IT company, like the company I was at before that. It was like four or five of us. And it was like my first startup, it was my first time like, into entrepreneurship at all. And like after three or four months, like they went out of business. And that looked like such a loss. Sure. But like the reality is that opened up the door for me to go, I got a job working for somebody else for a couple months, and saw how they were doing things. And then that first company going out of business gave me the opportunity to just start what’s turned into, like, the company’s huge, we’ve got 25,000 customers, dozens of employees, multiple offices, like that was all a result of that loss, or at least it seemed like a loss for dang that company went out of business. But in all reality, when you take that let go let God view on it. It’s like, you know, I go back to that situation that’s February 2014. You say, Hey, Andrew, the company’s going to go out of business? Or do you want that to happen? Like at that time? I’d be like, No, of course not. But looking back on it now I’m like, Of course I do. She says, I know, I know what happens next. And I was at a conference this weekend. And someone Someone had said, and I don’t remember the exact words, I wish I’d written it down. But it was something about like, when you have faith, it’s because you know, at the moment, you don’t have all of the information necessary in order to make your like view on it positive. And I look back at some of those moments in my life where it was like, I lost, you know, this company went bankrupt. Like that’s a loss. We took the L on that one. But it’s like, Nah, that that was huge. I’m so grateful that it happened. And on paper, it’s great that it happened and for in life, it’s great that it happened. So I think a lot of it does come down to faith and your perspective on what’s going on in your life. Because you can roll with the punches, however you want. You can sit back sit on the couch, say, well, not for me. But at the same time, you know, one door closes. And a couple more open and being able to walk through that. But moving forward. What got you motivated to start Sober Nation ? What was going on? Like, what’s the timeframe look like on that in your sobriety? And? And what was your thinking behind it?
Well, kinda like how you just said, the original plan for Sober Nation is nothing like what it happened, what it is. And I guess that’s just another example of, of doing the work and letting the chips sort of fall where they may. So Sober Nation was originally founded by myself and an old friend. And at the time, he was working at a sales room, basically. And in order to find leads, he would look through this directory. And so he came to me as like, hey, like, I got this idea for this kind of directory site. And, and coincidentally, I have, I’ve always been a writer, like a member I told you earlier, just that whole, like isolating type thing. I’m still to this day, I bring a notebook with me everywhere I go. And I have a blog, which I write every single day and never miss a day. And it’s just it’s a thing that I do, and it helps me. So when I was first getting sober, this was 2010. I was just writing a blog. And I mean, it’s funny I just mentioned the Seth Godin, I, I found a CD, there was an old magazine called Success Magazine. And Success Magazine used to come with a CD, like an interview. This is before there were podcasts, which is crazy that like we can even say that because it was only nine years ago. So yeah, so every episode used to come with a CD. And there was this interview with Seth Godin. And they said, What can you do? And he said, start a blog, don’t tell anybody about it and write in it every day. And my first blog, it was like a blog spot. And I just would write about my journey getting sober, like how scared I was, and I was in this new place. And, you know, Florida is a lot different than in Philly, and I was just kind of adjusting to it all. And so when, when this friend approached me, I was like, Yeah, man, like, I had an idea kind of similar. Like, I was gonna start a blog around like sobriety and relate to people through these stories. And we sort of morph the ideas together, and it failed, over and over and over again. And eventually, when, you know, I really took the reins on it. And I, I made some important decisions. It turned into what I think I can say, and I don’t know this for sure. So if somebody is like, going to go look up, the numbers don’t come, like emailing me with angry tweets or whatever. But I’m pretty sure we could say is the biggest online recovery community in the world. It’s just, it’s just recently sourced. It’s personal stories. It’s it’s entertainment. It’s it is an also a resource center for people who are who need help and are trying to maybe find treatment or find sober homes, it’s, it’s anything that we could possibly put together, which we feel will be valuable for people that are either in recovery family, members of people in recovery, people that need to get sober or get clean, whatever your you know, semantics are. And it’s been like, it’s been an amazing, amazing journey, I’m more proud of server nation than really, anything I’ve done in my life. It’s, it’s, it’s, it’s really beautiful to see because the cool thing about it is, is there were a lot of things that I did, right, and I can take credit where credit’s due. But the only real thing that I did that led to like the success of this huge community, is I just let people speak, I just gave people like a platform, to tell their stories and to reach out and to support each other. And if I still to this day, like that ethos is really my philosophy for any online brand. I’ve started and I’ve got a bunch of them now. It just gives people a platform to say what they want to say to be involved in a community. And if you can build a community, you can build like a killer online business.
Yeah, it’s, it’s really cool. A guest we had a couple of couple months ago a guy, Matt Williams. Oh, I love that dude. Yeah. Okay. So you know, fro Pro. And I was, I was commenting to him, it’s like, you know, it’s a snack. But you’ve got this, like, insane following of people just hashtag go for? Wow, it’s like, how do you feel proud? You know, like, but he’s built that community. And I mean, you know, that’s, that’s like a drop in the bucket compared to Sober Nation, and the amount of people that are involved in that, but it’s, it’s the same idea that you give people a platform, to say what they want to say and show how they want to show it. And when you do it without judgment, like we were saying, where it’s not, you have to do 12 steps, or you’re wrong. Yeah. But giving people the opportunity to say, this is my truth. And, you know, it’s been really cool, like, get through this whole journey, seeing a lot of different ways. Because for the first five, six years of my recovery, it was very much very close minded to how you can get sober like now you get sober through 12 steps and unlike if you relapse because you didn’t do it, right. And if you say it didn’t work, you’re wrong. So the reality is, there’s so many other things at play, and like Who am I to say like, just because something worked for me, it’s like diets, you know, like, there’s a million different ways to lose weight and it’s not that one’s right or wrong. It’s just find something that works for you. Stick with it. It’s it’s sustainable. Does it work with the type of life that you’re living? But that’s really cool, though, that with Sober Nation , you know, you are giving people a voice and was Sober Nation before. Stodzy marketing?
Yeah, well, absolutely. Like, well, first, before I even go with that, I’m definitely gonna answer the question. Just quick plug, man, if anybody has, if anybody knows Matt Williams, or you haven’t heard of fro pro like, he is so cool. And what he is doing with that company is so badass, I have some in my freezer. And honestly, like, I’m, I’m kind of a snob with food, like my wife and I are pretty like organic, fresh food type snobs. And it’s just something that we love. But when I do eat kind of protein bars, like there’s only one snack that I eat, Matt Williams is the shit. I love that kid. So anyway, now that I got that over with, um, yeah, like, Sober Nation was a huge learning experience. And if it weren’t for me screwing up so many times on Sober Nation , I never would have really got in my, what do you call it like the, my chops together to learn the real technical elements of SEO, and social media, and building content and, and building an audience basically, like, when I tell you that server nation failed over and over again, like, Bro, I can’t even explain to you how many times I wanted to give up, and just how frustrated it was. But, like, the beautiful thing about online marketing is that it’s just honest, like, it’s very, very difficult to force your way, you have to do it, you know, like, you have to really, really do it. It’s there are shortcuts. You know, there are quote hacks, but a lot of times when you do that, you just end up having a short win and then losing it. So to answer your question, like, yeah, sober nation was before starts, he and it was the lessons that I learned on sober nation that enabled me to be a good, like, task manager that enabled me to understand, like different departments and like how social media and SEO and email is all kind of connected, but from like, a technical standpoint, how to, you know, sort of separate them as teammates so that you have like different departments that can stay focused on that one thing, but know how to like cross communicate so that we don’t stumble over each other.
And, yeah, like, even through server nation, I just, I saw this opportunity in healthcare, because healthcare is so archaic when it comes to marketing. Like when when people think of online marketing, they think of like, cool, millennial shit, like SAS products, and, and I don’t know, like t shirt companies or stuff that’s Instagram, mobile, you know, but with healthcare, so we’ll work with treatment centers will work with hospitals, like we work with stem cell clinics, um, is something that we’re really interested in. So in that healthcare space, excuse me, there’s, it’s, it’s much more about providing information because before people make healthcare decisions, like they’re scared, and they’re nervous, so they read, and they research as many things as possible. And if you can become like, an authority in that kind of thing. Um, you can usually gain people’s trust so that they get a procedure or, I don’t know, get a tooth pulled, or whatever it is that they got to do within healthcare. And, and that’s, that’s where, again, like that ethos came where it’s about trust, and it’s not about and it’s about authority, and, and yeah, like community, even within something that as cut and dry as healthcare, because if you have testimonials, and you have people saying, like, this is what happened to me, you know, like, I’ll give you a perfect example, I have an operation on Friday. And I’m like, really, really nervous about it, I have a severely herniated disc in my back, and my leg has just been like radiating and pain. And I’ve watched more YouTube videos that I can count, I basically know how to do this operation at this point. I’m all the videos, but like, even through all the research, and I live in Nashville, which is, you know, like other than Philadelphia, probably the biggest, you know, like hospital city, in the country. And even through all that, it was testimonials of people that enabled me to make my decision. And even through all of that information that we have online, it’s still like that emotional connection of like, this is a person sharing their story with me about how they got better. And that same exact thing happens over and over and over again. And that’s basically like the foundation behind my marketing agency. And that’s, that’s how we found, you know, success in something as boring and cut and dry as the healthcare space.
So it’s, it’s very much like the the attraction rather than promotion public relations policy in 12 step recovery, where it’s, here is what I did to get better if you want what I have to do what I do.
Yeah, and you know what, I never thought about it that way. But it’s it’s like exactly like that.
Yeah, the whole idea. The whole concept is, you can’t shove it down somebody’s throat and I, I don’t remember where I’d heard. But it’s basically we’ve got, we’ve got our animal instinct brain. And then we have like, our logical black and white brain and the logical black and white brain knows, I should probably stop doing drugs because my life is going to hell. But our animal brain says, I need to keep doing drugs, because I love doing it. And until you can win over your animal brain, it’s going to win 99 times out of 100, even if you know something isn’t what you’re supposed to be doing. And so people think, well, if I go to treatment, and I’ve learned enough about myself, that’s not treating your animal brain that’s treating your logical brain. So you can get a bunch of facts. But it’s like Gary Vee says you can’t read about push-ups. You have to be doing the work. And are you going to take your advice from someone who’s ripped? Are you going to take it from like some person that’s sitting on the couch saying, I read a book. You know, the whole idea with testimonials is I was in this space that you are in here is how I got out. And it doesn’t have to be as like glum as recovery or when there are procedures involved. But even if it’s, I was a person that was looking for a healthy organic snack, this episode’s brought to you by for Oprah.
And Matt Williams, I was us.
Yeah, yeah. And I was tired of all the, all the garbage that they put in Clif Bars, and I needed a solution. This is it, it tastes great data. But testimonials, that’s one of the huge things we do like in our IT company. We’ve, we’re in an industry that’s just super, super scrutinized because of all the scams online. But when we’ve got 500 positive testimonials, and you know, it very easy to win over the trust when there are so many other people getting that proof of concept. And saying to the world, you should trust this company. I was in this spot that you were in here’s how I got out. I love how that all plays together. So what are your future plans look like? For Sober Nation?
You know?
Okay, I will tell you one thing, exciting that we’re working on because because Sober Nation does great, and I have a lot of stuff that I’m excited about. But I’ve always wanted to have a membership community. And I’ve tried to do it in a bunch of different ways, especially my personal site, like I’ve tried to have a membership around my site tips.com try not to be too self promotional, but whatever.
It’ll be in the show notes. Either way. Cool. Yeah,
cool. And I just, I couldn’t get it to work. Um, and, you know, I would really what it was about is it was just like, self doubt, like, I couldn’t convince myself that I knew how to do this. And then finally, I had like, a big meeting with my team. And I said, Guys, I want to give this a shot. And in order for this to be like a real success, both in terms of like our business, and also in terms of like the community that we build, and the value that we provide, like, we’re going to have to work at this for at least a year. And we’re not going to see short gratification, and it’s going to suck and we’re going to doubt ourselves. But I think if we just go at this really hard for a year, two years, like we can do it. And so we built it’s called sobriety engine sobriety engine. com it’s gonna it’s it’s just an online paid membership, which gives people instant access to a whole bunch of really cool courses that we created, you get what we call it, daily reflections. So every morning you wake up with just like a cool little note about how to live your life for the day, like a day at a time a daily reflection and, and just some cool inspiration to stay sober and relate to other people and start your morning you get access to a secret Facebook group, which is really, really important because although like the Sober Nation page is so big and valuable, like there is some shit that people need to say that they don’t want to say, on like a public domain. And I think it’s really, really cool that we have this secret Facebook group which people can get like, real and some of its like wrong, you know, like some of these stories, it’s it’s just the nature of addiction, it’s it’s wrong like to see people support each other. Um, so that’s what we’re working on. It’s called sobriety engine, it’s five bucks a month, it’s the coolest thing to watch this grow and to watch like, how much people are enjoying these daily reflections and being part of like an even more tight knit community that just like the the, the community that celebration already is. That’s that’s where I’m at. I also have this thing called gear Boulder. It’s a little bit more of a side project. But one of my idols is guy named Brian Clark. He was the founder of this website called copy blogger, which I’ve kind of been obsessed with because it taught me how to be like a good content marketer. And he lives in Boulder, Colorado, and he had this site called year border calm, which is sort of stopped working on and I was really nervous to approach him because this dude’s like a legend and in the online entrepreneurial space, and I was like, Hey, man, like I know a whole lot about directories. And I don’t know why he stopped working on this site. I thought it was really cool. I think you should partner with me and I’ll do everything. He said yes. And like even telling it to people, I can’t believe it. And the dude kind of makes fun of me because he’s just a regular guy. Like, you know, he is but to me, it was like this icon. So anyway, I somehow landed a deal with Brian Clark on this website called year Boulder. And that’s been a fun little side project just to kinda I don’t know, say that I did it, you know, but but sobriety engine has my full attention. sober nation is still like, you know, my, my first love, I guess, if you want to be super cheesy about it, and, and a near boulders is been a lot of fun as well.
That’s awesome. So, Tim, in wrapping up, what advice do you have for someone who’s trying to get sober but keeps just relaxing? Or doesn’t feel like there’s going to be really any light at the tunnel? What actual advice would you give them?
Most important advice I ever got in my life for my sponsor. And, you know, I was definitely one of those. It was so important to me that I even got, you know, the recovery tattoo, it says make it to midnight. And it’s it’s my own version of a day at a time. Because there’s people who, you know, I agree, like, there’s five year plans and 10 year plans and like having a vision for the future and all that stuff. But for me when it comes to getting sober and more importantly, staying sober, like, all you gotta do is make it to midnight, the only thing you have to do is not drink today is not pick up today. And then you know what, when midnight comes, you can worry about that day when midnight gets here. But like, there’s nothing to worry about yet. Because like it’s not midnight, and all you gotta do is get to midnight. And then like if you put, if you put enough midnights together 30 feels like a lifetime. And then 60 feels like a lifetime. And then a year feels like a lifetime. And sure, you know, and another six months, I’m going to be sober 10 years, and like I’m 33. So the days add up and the days are going to add up like regardless, they’re going to go by, so you might as well just get to midnight. Because
because it’s just way better.
It is way better than being a drug addict and say what you want. Like, my biggest fear was that I was going to be bored. You know, like my honest, biggest fear was I was never going to have fun again. And it’s a legitimate fear to anybody that feels that way. Like I can relate and it’s important that you like admit that but damn, like, just don’t just shoot for midnight, man. Just make it to midnight and like I swear to you, I promise you on like everything that I believe that if you do that for long enough, like your life will be better. 100%
Awesome. Well, Tim, thank you so much for being on Self Made & Sober podcast. Guys, I’ll have all the links to Tim’s to Sober Nation. Everything Tim was talking about in the show notes. If you like the episode, be sure to subscribe. leave us a review on iTunes. And Tim Have a great day man.

Octavio Cifuentes – How to Get Banned From A 3rd World Country


https://www.instagram.com/Cifuentes.octavio/

https://ftxwellness.com/

https://www.facebook.com/ftxwellness/

Check out this episode!

And with me today is Octavio Cifuentes . I said it right. That’s Nicaraguan, isn’t it?
Yeah, man, how do you know?
Yeah, it’s like I cut out the first part where I guess the wrong one.
It’s all good. It’s all good. It’s fantastic.
Octavio. Do you want to give the listeners a little background on who you are and what companies you’re part of?
Ah, yeah, absolutely, man. So my name is Octavio like you said earlier and I am one of the CO owners here at FCX Wellness in Boca Raton, Florida. I’m also one of the founders of recovery through repetition, here in Boca Raton soon to be launched in Pennsylvania and California. So yeah, that’s one of the that’s mostly what I do. We’re out. We’re actually about to launch a supplement line as well. So you know, just move it forward, evolving everyday man.
So owning, owning FTX isn’t enough, recovery through repetition isn’t enough. supplement line isn’t enough? Is it safe to say that you suffer from a malady where what you have isn’t enough? And Has that ever played a role in your life?
I think we had this conversation yesterday, nothing is enough, right? I love creating I love being an entrepreneur. And it’s funny, because I always thought that the dream was for me was owning a gym. That’s it. I was like, man, I need to own my own gym. And I’ll be that’ll be set. Right. And then of course, that dream happened, I reached that goal. And it just keeps up all the opportunities keep opening up. And of course, for me, I love the excitement of something new. And you know, yesterday during our men’s meeting, and I said it into my shares like, I love taking the fun out of everything I love and seeing what that could do with, you know,
and pleasing everything you can get out of everything that you like,
exactly. You know what the worst thing is, I didn’t even get that I you know, I have a podcast, as well. And one of my guests was like, Hey, this is it. This is what I do. My wife says this, I was like, Oh my God. And then I mentioned it to my wife. My wife told me Two weeks later, she’s like, see, you do that, too. And then
and then yesterday, I heard a Charlotte man.
So everybody’s telling me the same thing, right? I love you know, I love something new, the next great thing. And then I squeeze everything out of it, I see what I can do. And then all sudden, another opportunity opens through that. And then I go all out in that. So yeah, I’m pretty sure I have that disease of never enough seeing
that you’re on the show. We all seem to have a common affliction. Have we found something in the past that maybe wasn’t good for, for our well being that we took and started doing more and more and maybe consequences happen? What’s your experience look like in the drugs and alcohol field?
Wow, man, that’s a it’s a sad one. You know, I’m not gonna say that, you know, I ended up in jail or anything like that I should have? Absolutely. I found alcohol and drugs. And I was 13 years old. I was living in a third world country where, you know, we could go to bars at 14 years old. I’m 15 years old. I come from a long line of alcoholics. It was I was warned by my family that genetically predisposed to this disease. But of course, as a 14 year olds, I mean, wouldn’t, that’s not going to happen to me. I was privileged enough to go to school at Louisiana State University. And I started flourishing into the alcoholic and drug addict that I really was. I went back home and lied to my parents and my family that I had graduated for years, you know, I went home and I didn’t feel good enough to who I was. And I started drinking and drugging. So basically, I got kicked out of a country moment. I don’t know how many people could say that. But yeah, I was asked to leave a country. So I’m not going to get into my war story. But war stories for me is like, Hey, everybody, we’ve we’ve had them. I just say I was kicked out of a country. I came, I came to the states 10 years ago, with 600 bucks in my pocket two days sober, and started my journey from there. Now I’m not saying it’s been a great journey, I, you know, had a huge relapse here in my home group. So you’ve shared my story with you. And had a huge relapse. And after 10 years, I found myself in rehab last November. But it’s been the greatest thing that could have happened to me, just the amount of blessings I’ve had, since I went back to rehab in November, as a 40 year old man. I’m gonna start crying. I’m just thinking about it. You know, my wife was pregnant. We’ve been trying to have a kid for three years. I know you’re a father. So you know how that feels. Business is doing better than ever. I’m more focused, and everything I do. And I love who I am. And that’s crazy. I found, you know, I thought, you know, I was blessed enough that I had all the blessings and the promises come true. Really, really fast in my sobriety, the first time around. And this time, I pray for slow promises, you know, but unfortunately, you know, hey, two months sober. Guess what? You’re pregnant. Oh, man. Okay, so that doesn’t get you in check. Hey, buddy, your businesses blowing up and guess what your nonprofit is spreading like wildfire? Because you’re so because of your passion because of this? And what I mean, how am I supposed to live my life and I try to get better every day. If I’m not sure because my disease won’t allow me to, you know, and especially being an entrepreneur, you know, it’s not that nine to five thing, it’s, you know, I’m, I’m a lack of do I wake up at five in the morning, every day, create habits. And I’m here, I’m the first one in the gym. And I’m usually the last one out. It’s just who I am.
What are some of the habits and routines that you have? As far as your morning goes,
we’ve been evolving ever since. But, you know, rehab. I went back to basics man, I wake up at 515 every day, every day, it does, even if it’s Sunday night’s sleep, and I just, I can’t see past 515 It’s a sad thing. But I wake up and I go, I hit my knees. Straight up. If I know I miss hitting my knees, something’s not going to be right for the rest of the day. To you’re gonna laugh and my life, my wife actually laughed at me. But I started using the calm out for some meditation because my head just flies. I’ve been meditating. A while there’s there’s five minute meditations, there’s 10 minute meditations, I’m up to 17 minutes. And that seemed like a lifetime before, but it’s really calming man. I do that I hit my prayers. I actually speak to my dad that passed away 10 years ago, and asked for guidance. That’s it every day. And I also believe for me, I know that working out, um, sets the tone for my day, you know, it’s me time. I’m not I don’t have a lot of it. So I get into the gym early, I get to work on myself physically. And
that’s what I’m doing.
And do you think having a good routine in the morning that you get your own time has played a big role in your recovery and in the success in your business.
I cannot emphasize how important it is for me, routine for me.
It’s so effective for me that when I try travel or when I have to like when I travel with my wife, and that’s a big thing we do together for our relationship. She knows how important it is for me, right? So she’ll wake up at seven. She’s an early bird too. But I’m gone. All right, I’m already I’m in the gym, there’s a must, that in every hotel wherever we’re at, has to have some kind of gym. Because that’s, that makes me hold. I know, I have to have my quiet time. I know I’m always reading something. And if it’s not recovery based, it’s more like self help. And involvement. I truly believe that I have to work on myself daily, and keep myself if I’m not moving forward, I’m moving backwards. And the biggest thing for me this year has been really letting go of our mistakes. You know, mistakes happen during the past. And I know I struggled through that for years. Just not letting go. It’s a self imposed prison. And I, you know, everyone I talked to is like, Dude, it’s no one’s judging, just let it go. And you know how heavy it is to. We’ve all made mistakes, but there are lessons, there’s lessons learned of what I went, you know, where I went wrong. You know, I met you what, at the Wednesday night meeting, what, five, six years ago when it was six months. And it grew into like, 50 guys sweating, and uncomfortable, but it was the coolest thing ever. Right? And that was the place to be every Wednesday night. If you weren’t there. You weren’t cool. You know?
If you are not at the cool meeting, you are not cool.
Right? And then it’s, you know, and then it evolved. And then let’s see, sell remains, man. I know for a fact for me, I can go to McSweeney’s I’m just not good at them. I pay attention. I know that men’s meetings for me, I could bare my soul and I won’t be judged. There’s entrepreneurs there. There are just guys are some really deep time sober thoughts. And and yesterday, I said it, I feel home. I feel home and management, mixed feelings. I’m still a little introvert. You know, and I can be a chameleon that can be the greatest guy on the planet, but I won’t feel comfortable. And that’s where, you know, that’s where I come. I come to life, you know?
Yeah, I think there’s a good level of the comfortability in the men’s meeting where maybe you’re not trying to think so much about like, if I share and I say something that I’m going to look cool for that person over there. Like for myself, you know, when I share, it’s very much just, this is my experience, and hopefully, someone will get something out of it. And you touched on and I’d like to go back a bit that you do a lot of reading there anything in the past year to that you’ve come across the tat of really big impact on your life.
Man, it depends, man. So like I said, I love you know, there’s some deep books that I still can’t wrap my mind around like Sermon on the Mount, you know, I just can’t you know, it’s all fear based, but I’m like, that’s too deep for me. As an entrepreneur, right now, I’m reading something really, really cool. It’s called man up by BK Vedra school in a and that’s not even a shameless plug. I mean, this guy just puts it in in straight you know, he’s in the same space as I am in health and fitness. He owns what probably the fastest growing franchise in the United States when it comes to gyms and this guy is he’s an immigrant. He’s, you know, he’s done it all. But everything that I read, that’s really impact, I always take a little snippet of everything I do. I always I don’t know if you guys read life for purpose. Check it out. The monk that Sold His Ferrari another good one. We have the warrior. And I really love I don’t know if you guys have ever read Paolo Coelho The Alchemist that, check it out. And I think he’s, you done a couple of ones that are really good that I read. I can’t read these thick 300 page books, he had 400 page books, I try to keep them under 200 pages. Just to keep moving, you know?
Yeah. And I think reading and self improvement, that’s one of those things that I know for myself, like I could get addicted to. And it’s that type of personality, where, like, the, the drinking wasn’t really the problem is my personality of I take something that I like, and then it was like, you know, what I like to do read, and then is like 100 books later and and as I Oh, I could tell you everything about all these books,
I like to walk with a book bag full of books. That’s what I want to do. So then you’ll trail run for 100 miles, you know, and then you get into that, and then you bring that out, dude, that’s my life.
As an entrepreneur, dude, I really recommend
mastering the Rockefeller habits. I don’t know if you’ve read that one.
It’s literally next on my Oh, my audible
man that is legit. And also scaling up.
Check that out. That’s a really good one. And, you know, it’s just, I love that kind of stuff. I really do. And if it’s not it, you know, I love Netflix, like anybody else’s just I realized this thing this year that and I’m from all future or, you know, current dad’s like, personal time, and TV time are going to get cut out really, really quick. So I’ve been trying to train myself that, you know, it’s, it’s going to go away. So I’ve been reading. And that’s what I mentioned, you know,
what I’ve gotten in, in my five, six months of fatherhood has been very much a it’s basically a perpetual. Everybody else has already had kids, and then they tell you just you wait until this thing happens. So like, and now I find myself doing too, like, I, we met our neighbors across the street, and they’ve got a three month old and ours is five months. And then it’s like, oh, man, like, do you do anything that can that like, you can make him laugh like, with with my son, like, if you clap his hands, the other like, he starts laughing? And, and he’s like, Oh, no, like, I don’t have anything that like, I can just make him laugh. Like sometimes he smiles and I’m like, Ah, man, once he laughs It’s the best and then other people. Yeah, I was talking with with Josh. And he’s like, once they start crawling, it’s a whole different world. And then other people, once they start walking, it’s a whole different world. Once that, but everyone pretty much ends up just wait till they become teenagers and they suck. That’s that’s what I gather from having a kid. It’s everything’s great until they’re teenagers. And then you just do it again and get a small one.
Man, I’m excited. I used to be scared, scared, scared about what’s coming on. But I’m really excited about fatherhood. Um, you know, it’s funny, I have the, the opportunity to meet a lot of people in my realm as as a personal trainer, or as a coach. And one of my clients is like, Hey, I have four kids. They are 30 to 20. And whoever said that parenting is over at 18 is alive, because I gotta leave for the next four weeks, because two of them are moving out, I gotta go set up their apartment, another one is having their tonsils put out, I gotta go take care of him. And she’s like, what happened to 18? And then they leave? You know, they’re 30. And I’m still hoping I’m other. That’s what my mom says about me. You know? It is man. Uh, you know, it’s, it’s what we’ve prayed for. It’s funny, you know, if you look back at everything, I’ve prayed for the last three years over over God, I need to get back into the rooms God I need, you know, I would love to be a father. And all this and not everything is happening, you know. And it all comes back to what faith CUF
is played a huge role in my recovery as well in Do you just have faith in the recovery department? Or does it play a role in everything.
So, for me, if I don’t have faith and everything, it’s you don’t really have faith. And that’s my opinion, and my opinion only, right. So I come from a huge Catholic based, family of line, Roman Catholic, and my mom goes to church twice a day, and prays for an hour a day, besides those two hours that she’s at church. So for me, when I was old enough to say I don’t want to go anymore. I just walked or stepped away from the church. My sister on the other hand, when she saw me getting on my worst with my alcoholism, in my drug addiction, she stepped away from that party life, you know, and, you know, really grew closer to the church, and she’s super religious as well. Very, very strong Catholics, I am a non practicing Catholic, I I find God in the rooms and everything else. I really pray every morning for myself, my family, this country, this world, everybody the sick and suffering and everything else. So I really believe that in my life, faith is everything. And it’s crazy, because I’m always I was look at the field on and it’s about results and tangible results, and faith. How do you prove it? How do you have these conversations with people that are? My clients are multi millionaires, you know, some of them are billionaires. And they’re like, Well, you know, I’m not, you know, I’m not, I don’t have faith, but I’ve done this on my own. I was like, Man, that’s, that’s amazing. But I know I’m at my best, when I’m lined up with God’s will.
Yeah. And for me, with my experience with faith, when I first when I first came in, they say you have to have a God of your understanding a higher power. I wasn’t really in. I didn’t, I didn’t really believe that anything would work. But I was willing to prove that it didn’t work, which the opposite of that is, I was willing to do whatever it took. And so in order to prove that it didn’t work, I jumped in 100%. And for me, I’m very much results oriented, I’m very much a, a person that values, if you can put a number on something, then it counts. And if you can’t put a number on something, then you’re just talking about nothing. And the unfortunate thing with faith is that there isn’t a set law, if you pray for five minutes, you’re going to get like 80 prayer points. And if you pray for 10 minutes, you get 97. And with 97, that’s when you start landing big clients, like there’s no direct correlation. It’s very much just, I’ve, I’ve just kind of changed it from levels and measuring to just as much as I hate things that aren’t quantifiable, just a feeling. And I know, when I’m letting go when I am letting the universe unravel how it’s supposed to, I know when I am trying to take control. And sometimes I need to take a step back and take an objective look at my life and say, am I acting in faith? Or am I acting in fear? Am I letting the universe play out how it’s supposed to? Or am I deciding what needs to happen, and then forcing my will on everybody else, and all the big opportunities that I’ve had in my life, and we’ve had companies that we acquired 50,000 60,000 70,000 customers in one fell swoop that fell into my lap, and then others times, where I’ve been fighting tooth and nail for a couple hundred bucks on someone that I don’t even want to do work with, I just decided I need to do this. And I’m going to send 1000 email, follow ups call them every day for an opportunity that I told myself that I wanted the turns out, I didn’t actually want but once I’ve let go and say, You know what, I’m going to let this play out. However it’s supposed to play out, then that person calls me and says, I want to restructure everything so that it’s in your favor, I recognize that I’ve been a breath in this negotiation, and that I want to give you everything you want. And then some and it always happens. exactly when I let go.
Letting go. You know, I used to make fun of it all the signs on, you know, on our walls in our God.
This too shall pass. Oh my god.
Things and all sudden, it’s not real. It can’t be real, it doesn’t work. And all of a sudden, you start letting go. And you’re like, man, I didn’t really don’t control anything. Right? I can control how I react to everything else. Like man, I’m going to give you a quick example of my last week. And this is crazy, because my partner is a normal, right? He’s a doctor, and he’s super pragmatic. And he’s the biggest optimist on the planet. He’s like, oh, man, we’re gonna, we have unicorns in the sky. And we’re going to live there, and everything’s going to be great. I’m the other guy. I’m like, we work hard to get up there. Right. But it doesn’t exist, you got to keep working. So we’re a perfect union Yang. But yesterday comes over. He’s like, odd. I don’t know what happened in the last two weeks. But your mental shift has been amazing. Everybody you had beef with or resentment or anything else that was holding us back with some other stuff. You have sat down? You know, just when I said, basically, I was okay, what was my fault? What was my attitude? How can I make this right? And all of a sudden, the floodgates of opportunity became open. And it’s insane how just letting go of this false power or control that we all think we have is just basically a wall. You know, keeping you from what the universe really wants is, it’s crazy. Like, I made a mess of some, you know, some friends of mine that I thought he was mad at me. When I was mad at him that created these stories. I was like, Hey, man, what’s going on? How do we make this right? I approached it like, hey, how can I make this right? I’m sorry, if I did anything wrong? How can you know? And he’s like, Dude, this is just storytelling in your head. I was like, Man, you know, you’re right. I’m sorry.
And then
during the negotiation, how do I do this with, you know, one of our biggest contract? And they’re like, you know, you’re right. We should have done this, this and this, I just told them how I felt instead of being resentful. Okay, guys, I really don’t feel that, you know, you made me feel really awkward. The other day, though, when I was in this office, I just want to start off with that, because I don’t want to have a resentment towards you guys. Because we’ve been working together for over three years. And they’re like, Man, that’s really good. Because we wanted to apologize, because that’s, that was a cool, that was never our intention. And then everything opens from there, you know, and,
and that’s just, that’s program. If you look at it, you know, we go into a we go into like,
the 12 steps, looking for a way to stop drinking and drugging right? To stop getting into trouble to stop hating myself to stop letting myself down. And then you find this way of life. Like I tell this story all the time that I became a man when I was 30. I didn’t know how to cook, I didn’t know how to clean, I still have a phobia of going to the supermarket as my sponsor. A grown it, you know, sorry for cursing a grown ass man asked him Hey, can you teach me how to do laundry? Right? Because I didn’t know. Right? How do you admit that hot? You know, I’m sorry, I just never learned how to do laundry. I don’t know how to go into a supermarket because I feel overwhelmed, because there’s too many choices. But I was too proud of my ego was too proud to let anybody know, I just didn’t know.
You know, and there’s still things that how
do you get over that? You just go through the fear?
Lately, and everything I’ve been learning is fear is the biggest subject. It’s like stress, man, you know, and people are like, Oh, I’m just so stressed. But what are you stressed about? Is it a fear of the unknown is a fear about what the outcome is. And if you’re fearing the outcome, where’s the faith? You know, where’s your doing? Are you doing the right thing. So now I base everything, as I’m gonna face everything that’s uncomfortable. From a way from an angle of how I believe I should be acting. The God wants me to, you know, I pray every morning to say, hey, God, let them see you through me. Right. And then I tried to align myself with that. It’s crazy how one applying all my self imposed, fears have been going away, slow. And it’s not my time. And you know that and I know that on our time, we would have had an instant gratification 20 years ago, right? Or, Hey, man, I’m ready for this, I need this deal to come by, I need to sign this contract today. And then that stays in limbo for like three months, all sudden, you get a call. He’s like, Hey, man, I’m sorry. I’ve had a lot of personal stuff going on. The company wasn’t ready back then. But we would love to move forward. You know, when I thought I did something wrong, or I was too aggressive. You know, it’s stuff like that. It’s not on my time. And that’s the hardest thing as an entrepreneur to really find. Now, as an entrepreneur, you can have goals, because I think I truly believe all goals are measured, right? I know you’re a numbers guy, too. I quantify everything. I have my goals. I have weekly goals, monthly goals, quarter goals, etc, etc. And I’m very goal oriented. But those that can achieve through work, and if I cross them off slowly, big, audacious goals. It’s just one day at a time. Everything is one day at a time some days. You know, I have a staff of 34 people. I want to choke half of them sometimes. And sometimes they want to all choke me. They complain about me like Oh, man, he’s on a rampage today. You know?
Yeah, but don’t? Don’t they know how important you are? Don’t they know who you think you are?
That’s what I tell most guys, don’t you understand that? I believe it. I’m crazy. So if I’m acting crazy, the guys that have you know, I’ve been around with for like seven years. Like, you’re having one of those days. I’m like, Oh, yeah. Like, all right, we’re gonna step away for a while. Do you need a coffee? Because everything you say is non boy today, right? I’m like, Yeah, don’t take it personally. Right? Yeah,
I needed to have days where I would just tell my employees, it was like, we had payroll, I think it was, we’ve changed the days, but it was whatever day I see the number for payroll. Don’t talk to me after that. And then don’t talk to me the next day when the direct deposit comes out of the bank account. And then don’t talk to me the day after, when I start freaking out, because I think that everything’s gonna go to crap. And that nothing will ever work. Like, talk to me three days after that. And then
three days before three days after payroll, I feel you, brother, everything. As an entrepreneur, it’s like, Guys, why don’t you guys understand? We don’t know ever gonna
make it. I never get paid. Nine. These are the things that we suffer. But guess what? I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Yeah, I try to look back at if if I were to go back and work for somebody else. And I’ve just on the side, I’ve done partnerships with people. And I was having a discussion with my wife the other day. And I was like, I realized that I’m not even good at being a partner. I’m good at if it’s a team and a collaboration. I can get behind that. But I have those issues. As much as I don’t want to admit that I have control issues. I’ve seen the benefits of letting go. I’ve seen the benefits of putting trust in my employees, and they perform better than I do. I’ve seen that firsthand. But there’s still so many times, I’ll get a phone call from a potential lead, that might be a big deal. And I have to watch it every single step through the process, make sure everything was done perfectly. And it’s like we have a checklist in place for all this. All you all I really need to say is just follow the checklist, please, as you get paid to do.
You want to be up here hovering? Exactly. You want to be the IY.
I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum. I’ve been the guy working for the employer who doesn’t understand who doesn’t see things the way that I see it, then I’ve been the solo printer, I’ve done everything start to finish, then I’ve been the entrepreneur, I’ve been growing the company, I’ve been the business owner that doesn’t do anything like literally earlier today. I was in a networking group for the first time in months. And they needed help with Chromecast. And I’ve never used Chromecast before I just, you know my text, do it. I just have tech people that do that for me. And they’re like, oh, you’re a tech guy, go fix this. And I’m like sitting there for like 20 minutes trying to figure out their stupid Chromecast and eventually got it to work. So at least proved, proved myself where they but like jumping back into, into the field and doing the work. And, you know, I’ve been on both sides of the coin. And like, I can’t imagine going back to working for someone else. When I’ve experienced what I have now. And I see people who will say things, I’ve got three jobs and I hate my life and being on this side of entrepreneurship. I just, I don’t shove it down their throats. But I think to myself, that doesn’t have to be your reality, like you can do more.
You know, here’s the thing that has helped. I love being an entrepreneur. My father was an entrepreneur, I don’t understand I’ve been an employee. I’ve been a great employee, I’ve been the terrible employee. It’s feed your mind with positivity and purpose. Right. I know my purposes today, I have a clear vision of it. I think most people don’t have that. And if I could give anybody advice, which is crazy that I would have a person like me because anybody that knows me from back in the day is like, dude, you’re listening to Octavius. A point is that you didn’t dots, that dudes. Right? That guy’s wrap his hair during my first 20 years of 25 years of my life. So Dude, that guy doesn’t know anything, right? The truth is, if you don’t love what you do, if you don’t have passion for what you do, find something that moves you find something that gives you purpose. I know my why I wake up every morning, I know my purpose. And I know my vision. Because if you don’t have a goal set, or a line of sight where you’re heading, you’re wondering, right? So why wonder when you could have direction and purpose. Right. And that’s it, I have a purpose in life, which is now you know, recovery through repetition, which is our nonprofit it is fills my heart every day with how fast and how much people are adapting to it or you know, receiving it and spreading the word all over the world, hopefully. And I put it out there because that’s what I want. My dream is you know, FTX but it’s already where we’re heading to right and my Why is my family and my son, my future son, but I want to know what kind of life he wants to have. And I know what kind of father I want to be. Right. But it has to be clear. Most people do not have a clear. And that’s cool. Because I was in college and I and I studied every single subject, not the mess, I wouldn’t get out ever. But you gotta have an endgame. What’s the end game? What do you want to be like? I know, we have one shot at this lifetime.
One.
We don’t know how long it’s going to be. Right. So I want to be the best version I can be while I’m here. Right? I want to have some purpose and I want when I’m dying. I don’t want to have any regrets. Right. That I didn’t do enough. That’s it.
Yeah. And having direction to, you know, look at LeBron James. Like how often is he practicing soccer. It’s not in line with what’s important to him. He is one of the greatest basketball players of all time, because he focuses on basketball and things that are related to basketball. And he doubles down in his zone of excellence. He’s not just wandering and saying, I like sports. And then Okay, you’re well rounded and a lot of sports. Great, but you’re not going to have a huge impact. If you just kind of dabble in, in everyday different
craft. Absolutely. Absolutely. And get better. So here’s, you know, I don’t know if you guys ever heard of Kent clothier?
No, I haven’t fella.
Check him out. He’s dead. He’s my mentor, my business coach everything you want. But this guy had this a scalar escape in San Diego and one of the biggest list of speakers there was Jesse isn’t the owner, one of the CO owners of the Atlanta Hawks, the guy from Zico, Zico, water, of coconut water, and that’s sold its Coca Cola for a couple hundred million, bought it for less than a million. You know, it’s crazy,
an airplane company to right?
Correct Marquis jets
and sold it to Warren Buffett.
And he living with seal
crazy. New York Times bestseller live with the see what David Goggins? Exactly. So he put it so clearly to me, Andrew, that a, I was sitting down, you know, you’re sitting down all day, and you’re like, Man, what am I gonna listen to now. And all sudden he comes, he’s like, Guys, it’s very simple. If you don’t align with my four buckets in life, I’m not wasting my time. He’s like, think about time, as an asset. It’s the only thing you can’t buy, you know, you can’t buy time you can do anything, if you don’t really fit into my four buckets doesn’t really work. So here’s his four buckets. Family, right? personal time, which is working out running, he’s a big around your community,
and business.
And if you really take 10 minutes, just to think about that, if you keep it to those four things, you have a lot on your plate anyway, right? But you start cutting out these things that really take up your time that are don’t align with your craft, or don’t align with your purpose. Guess where you have a clear vision to where your head and I’ve applied that to that, like I wrote down that night, I wrote down what my community looks like, what my family because you can be choosy about what part of the family you want to deal with, right? So I do not we signed with people that are negative. I do not waste time with people that don’t align with my, you know, my vision and stuff like that. And that’s it. It’s hard to like some people don’t fit into it. And they’re like, Hey, man, you’ve been distant all the grant. I don’t have time for that. I’m sorry. I’m focused.
It kind of ties together with what we were saying that if you’re going to double down and what’s important to you, I mean, there’s so many people saying no is difficult. And one of my mentors in the past like his quote was, no is a full sentence. You don’t have to give explanations. You don’t have to dig into why this isn’t alignment with anything.
No is a full sentence. I’m writing that down. Dude, I might take it. I love it.
Hey, man, if you share it twice, it’s yours. Yeah.
Yeah, man. It’s insane. It’s insane. Man. The power of the word know. And for me, because I’m a I like I’m a, I’m a people pleaser, right? I don’t, I really feel wrong when someone’s not liking me. And that’s a character. I’ve been working on it with my therapist and stuff like that. But the power of that to those two letters is liberating.
Man, it’s completely liberating. And it changes everything.
Everybody wants to be liked. I don’t exactly buy into the people that just Oh, yeah, like, I’m a dick. And everyone hates me. Hi. I mean, I guess you know, different strokes for different folks. But I do think that there’s some levels where you just need to identify that this is not beneficial to me, and being willing to cut it out and move in a better direction with your purpose. I think that’s, you know, the underlying theme of everything is, find what’s important to you, and then stay in that lane.
Stay in that lane and clear that vision. You got to make it clear. What does that look like? Like what’s your perfect day look like? In your perfect life? Right? You can’t put a man I’m gonna be there tomorrow. No, it takes work. Right? And it takes commitment. Just like love does. Just like everything else in life. Everything is commitment and just you commit to being better you commit to going after what you want in life. And once you have that you will have your purpose. Right when nobody wants to go work out what’s your purpose? Oh, I want to do this. Okay, so let’s be healthy. How am I going to live there? How do I want to achieve helping millions of people that don’t have the resources of the income to get healthier? How can I get back to it? Okay, so recovery through repetition. How do we do
so that’s a that’s incredible. Octavio I could go on forever with you man. Where can people find you to learn out more to
check me out a follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/Cifuentes.octavio/ Follow us on recovery through repetition, and FTX Wellness? On FTX wellness and performance on is the man that’s that’d be great. We’re doing the launch of RPS in the next three weeks. Check that out. It’s gonna be really really cool, man. I hope you guys again, thank you for having me, man. Now we could always talk about entrepreneurship and sobriety all day long

Jake Cushing – Mastering the F*ck It Mentality


https://www.instagram.com/jkushisme/

https://www.facebook.com/jake.cushing.3

http://3.237.236.187/

Check out this episode!

With me, today on the podcast is Jake Cushing. Awesome background with Jake when I started my company rush tech support in my living room five and a half years ago, a couple of months down the road. A wonderful human being named Jake Cushing came into my life and helped us transform the company from 36,000 in the first year to 1.75 million in year two, he is the brains behind everything that the company accomplished in that year. Jake, how you doing, man? We go. That’s how hackers used to walk in appreciate it, man. I think you had a whole lot to do with it too. Maybe it was like a combination, a good mix. Jake’s been sober now since July 26, 2018. And you want to give us a little background on what your sobriety looked like what happened, what’s going on. Now you want to give us just kind of a background pre
sobriety and into what it’s looking like today.
I think the biggest part of my story, when I first started, you know, getting clean back in 2013 I just didn’t think it was possible. I think that’s a huge thing to touch on because I used to say it in every single one of my stories that I would tell him like a 12 step program or anything like that.
And
I think when I
when I, when I got into the program, and I was just kind of like winging it, I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know how to live life, like really actually live life. My entire life consists of using drugs and alcohol and
I didn’t know how to be a man or you know, even a human being, you know, and
So, so it all started 20 2013 I moved out to Florida my mom and called some random number she saw on the phone book. And I was like, you know, South Florida it’s like nice outside. Yeah, I’ll be kicking and I’ll be screaming but might as well give it a shot there probably be some pretty girls out there. I don’t know.
Maybe just a little. Yeah. So So I started my journey that way. And I came out to South Florida.
This is from heroin, and you know, pretty much anything I could get my hands on at that point in time. And I ended up
Being able to go from that to making like a whole network of friends through the 12 step program. And
I didn’t think that I was capable of doing anything. I didn’t think I could, I could, you know, read and write properly, much less, you know, be a salesman or you know, anything like that. Sorry, I’m working for a company that, you know, did sales, but they were extremely sketchy. And I had
I had you know, Andrew, who was a huge part of my sobriety, and he is still is up to this point. And we, you know, we hit it off right from the start. I saw him at a meeting and he,
he saw my ravens hoodie. And, and he said, he said, Oh, nice 30 and I said,
Though he said he said sponsor me.
He said he’s no he says he says coolly. Yeah, I’ll be your sponsor.
Some other guy
I didn’t see that. Did you want to be a sponsor? That was a Joe never fails. Yeah, that was it some and I and Andrew hit it off right off the brake keys is an into food.
We really got in you know, eat a, you know a lot of Chinese food or pizza, whatever we can get our hands on in South Florida. So what were some of the strategies you were using at the time to stay sober and like get into the program? You were at a sketchy company and then what
a sketchy company
Emotional sobriety wasn’t at its peak if you will. And, and, and Me and Me and Andrew had this thing where I said, Hey, Andrew, maybe one day I’ll end up working for you.
Yeah, so, so the way you know, after getting enough sales experience, I ended up just, you know, randomly, you know, no, there was no like, big story behind it. I just randomly like, started making sales for them, you know, on the weekends, you know, when I had my time off and stuff like that, and you know, unmake, like maybe like $100 $200 sale or something like that, and we would party with a whole bunch of food.
Jordan, this is how we do it. Yeah.
rushes in its infancy at that time. And what were some of the things that like you didn’t have experience in growing a company? Where did that spirit of let’s grow it and roll the dice come from? I think a lot of it comes from like humans winging it.
And by that, I mean, like, nobody really has a superset plan. And even if you do have your set plans, it never works out the way exactly what you want it to. And, and I think that
I think that coming from a position of, of, you know, humbleness and not really knowing what’s going to happen is probably where you get your biggest projects and the biggest thing that’s happened in your life
because I can name on multiple occasions where other things have happened besides that, that has been huge in my life as well. I never expected date the girls and on the
I never expect to, you know,
be friends with some of the people that are like the biggest positive influences in my life. I kind of just took a leap of faith and said, I’m out here in South Florida, I don’t have any family, I have friends, I have plenty of friends. I might as well give it a shot. And that’s probably the best place that I could have been. They have that terminology where they say you never feel like you work a day in your life if you do what you love, but I don’t really believe that to be true because you work the jumping-off point. We definitely had a lot of fun building the company and I’ve had I had the best years of my life in Florida and helping to build a company and I would never trade it and you know, experiencing, you know, things that you know, maybe scare you or whatever. But you know, I had family members and
Stuff that supported me but I had no real backing. I had no sort of money saved up or you know, anything like that. I just figured give it a shot. The worst-case scenario can always move back to Maryland. I don’t know. Yeah, having that safety net fallback plan. I think a lot of people, they’ll just let fear take control of everything. And it’s like, well, what if it fails? What if it doesn’t work out nine out of 10 startups go out of business, none of us have any experience in doing this. What in the world is going to make us think that we could actually do more than run this thing out of Andrews halfway house living room, and then upgrade to Andrews apartment living room to upgrade to suite nine and then 10 and then 12 and three and then del Rey office at 13 like all the crazy growth that happened as a result of walking through that fear and you’re right like when you when you lay it
Get out and it’s like, well, worst-case scenario, I’ll just move back home and keep living my life. I think a lot of people, just have that fear of failure and they just end the conversation right there instead of just going with it. A lot of people have fear drive them to not take the leap of faith into the thing that they really want to do. What was going through your head in this is 2014 when you made the leap and have rush be your full-time job even though it was extremely all over the place and didn’t have a steady income the way that your other job did. I think it was a fucking mentality. Like really, it was just you know, I don’t have a safety net. So if I don’t have a safety net, and you know, there’s a there’s like a pit at the bottom and then I gotta climb up this thing but there’s no safety net and then you got to climb that
Anyway, so I might as well do it. Right. I mean, that’s kind of what happened, you know, I didn’t have any, as I said, I didn’t have any friends in the family, family, you know, I had, I had the 12 step program and, you know, and God by my side, and
did I really have that much faith in it? No, I didn’t. And, and this is, you know, coming from a complete place that honestly, I didn’t really have much faith that it was going to work out. I just, you know, wherever the cards may lay and, and just, you know, threw myself to the wind and whatever happens happens. I didn’t. I didn’t think too much, you know, but do you have any sort of rituals or like, the things that you make sure that you do every single day to help you maintain your sobriety and or good work ethic? Well, every morning
I start off, I do the third step prayer and the seventh-step prayer. And I’ve done that even on that this is another entire part of my story. But when I end up going back to drinking, even during my drinking days, I still third step prayer seventh step prayer every morning. And I think that and you know, meditation and, you know, a practice in keeping myself grounded in a higher power, and in the earth, if you will, in the universe, if you will,
is a huge part of it as well.
I
I think that I I’ve done that on the daily since I was a kid, not the third step seventh step prayer, but I always try to put myself
In a place mentally to, you know,
to, to, I don’t know to get a better grasping better, a better foothold, if you will.
Yes, I think that’s so you’re using, you’re using the third and seven-step prayer. So just for those that aren’t familiar, the third step prayer is basically turning your will and your life over to something bigger than you. And the seven-step is removing your defects that are getting in the way from whatever the bigger thing in the universe is. call it God call it nature, call it, whatever you want to call it. And the idea is that you move you remove the things that are getting in your way, so that you can do a better job at letting things fall so kind of your fucking mentality is like a foreigner way of saying
turned your will over to your higher power and let the cards fall as they were Is that fair a fair assessment?
I think that is a very fair assess the whole bucket mentality. I mean fuck it is it is a natural statement right? You ever get pulled over by the police and and you say fuck it I’m going to jail
yeah that’s what I said when I got arrested
like I’m going to jail back
pocket I’m going to jail I’m wasted Let’s drink this bottle of fireball before I get booked to nearly be that
Yeah, I drank a fifth of fireball while I was getting pulled over. And so I got charged with drinking while dry or yet drinking while driving on top of DU I got consuming an alcoholic beverage. Why?
operating a motor vehicle I think was like the the legal term for it but yeah drinking while driving Are you able to while getting pulled it were you able to maintain your drunkenness throughout your booking
I blacked out jail
and like jail like you know the drunk tank like getting
I blacked out the whole getting arrested saying I briefly remember seeing the I came out of a blackout and I saw in the rearview mirror the red and blue lights flashing, and I had about half of a fifth of fireball left. And I was like well, I’ll just finish this off because I didn’t want to get an open container charge. But I didn’t hide the bottle. So I still got an open container charge as well as drinking while driving, as well as blowing a point 24 so I added a whole bunch of extra
felonies and misdemeanors because the
That micro decision added like an extra three things to the laundry list of, of everything that was happening at the time. So yeah, I learned my lesson but you know, silver lining of it, I ended up going to treatment and got sober and things ended up working out for the better. So you said that you always had a idea of a higher power or something bigger than you and has that grown since you got into recovery? Yeah.
I started out.
I remember when I was, I was with my fiance. And, and we would, we were,
you know, getting high and drunk or, you know, whatever we could get our hands on and everyone’s from all there. Were
There would be this, this point where I would want to like meditate like avatar style.
So, so like, I don’t know, like, I would remember like, you know, how dry you know and Dragonball Z they would meditate and really do really cool things afterward or, or, you know, avatar would do it and, and I remember just, you know, sitting there and I really want it power. You know, I wanted some sort of power to the light come from the sky and to help me with what was going on in my life. And it did. It certainly did. Maybe not the way that I pictured it, but it certainly did. I ended up meeting one of the biggest spiritual advisors I’ve ever met in my life, who I actually stayed with for a period of time with my fiance and
He had me dropped to my knees in the middle of Eastern Avenue and Marlon and you know, it’s kind of like the a major intersection and ethics. And I did that and slowly but surely after that prayer and after having anonymous sincerity to like, want to get clean or I didn’t really want to get clean, but have an honest sincerity to want my higher power to help me.
I started to slowly but surely
you know, come to terms with you know, my sobriety, and I, my girlfriend at the time who was stealing jeans from Nordstrom
or my fiance she ended up getting locked up and
I ended up getting locked up before she did. But I had my parents would always bail me out you know not not my dad so much from my mother she would always bail me on a jail.
She wonderful woman, she didn’t know how to to not coddle me and you know enable me and she she ended up bailing me out but by the time I got bailed out she got called up and she was wanted for
she was on it for more than that she ended up because of the genes for Nordstrom thing. They developed the whole whole profile of of
what it is it called? I
can’t remember what the name of it is. They developed all profile of her basically stealing the genes and you know
I ended up being in the thousands of dollars. And she ended up getting locked up. And so I was left without a fiance, you know, in my presence and left on my own devices. And that’s when my mother gave me the phone number I called. And when I called I don’t know what took over me, but I was like, I don’t know this person, they’ll probably never meet me ever. I’m just going to drop my entire story on their lap and see what the free cap
and so that’s why I did I spilled my guts to this person over the phone that I’ve never talked to before my entire life. And I told her my whole life story and how, how much of a fuck up I was now much of a destructive alcoholic and an addict. I was and
They got me on a plane the next day. They wanted to set they wanted to get me on a plane that day. But I had a little bit more to do before I before I came out to Florida. Yeah, I had to get him to get here the last. Your last hurrah. I remember my last hurrah. I had a party I invited all my friends and only one person showed up. And that was kind of like my damn man, like, even even my last hurrah, like, no one’s trying to be involved with me at all. I’m just not a person that people want to be around. And once I came to that conclusion, and like accepted it,
I continued to move forward and grow and try a new way of life, where I’m focusing on spiritual principles, and instead of focusing on what I think is going to be best for me, and then just the results, speak for themselves, none of the cool things that we’ve been able to accomplish anything
to do with
with like me is all about the right people the right place the right time having my higher power guide the
direction of everything that was happening and we didn’t have any clue what we were doing jumping into it we’re just like God will take control and we’ll see what happens. So when you
so you mentioned that you had a slip up and came back so what are you doing differently this time now you have over a year on your time back. What lessons did you learn from the first time
so I’m going to give a little bit of background just briefly and this will help to sum it all up. So when I
so when I came back to Maryland I had gotten drunk and in Florida after
Two and a half years of continuous sobriety. And I, I,
I ended up I don’t know, I was in the tech office at the time. And I decided that I was going to try and control drinking and it worked great for me for a while for actually quite some time.
My progression seems to be a little bit slower than thumbs.
And so I ended up you know, drinking at a OK, so the first time I drank I drank a
drink it camping with my father. We went one to we went to Harpers Ferry, West Virginia, and I decided to get a six-pack or Corona. And I woke up the next day and I thought I expected this huge dread and this huge, terrible illness and night
Even had like a bad dream that night. And I woke up and I just, you know, I nothing happened. I didn’t feel bad it was probably the worst place for me to be at because nothing happened. And so I
went to
I drag for a couple more years. And then I got to the point where I was just tired of living the way that I was living again. And that’s when I turned back to my higher power. And I, you know, said
that sincere prayer again, and I didn’t even realize I did that until I just said that but
yeah, I said that sincere prayer to God and I ended up back in right turn of Maryland and I went to that program so
this time
I think that
you know, I have, I have sat here and analyzed a lot of what,
what I did to say server back down and what I do to stay sober now. And it’s not really too much different. I think the biggest thing that I learned from going back out and drinking is that I can’t do that successfully either. And that’s a that’s a big lesson to learn, you know, I’ve always seen my father drinking, he’ll drink
you know, every single night, wake up the next day be fine, you know, drink his coffee in the morning, not me. I wake up the next morning, and I’m and I’m drinking, you know, hard liquor and early in the morning. So, you know, I, I kind of like, had this vision of like me being like my father and in that respect and like I could still drink, but that’s just not what I’m here for.
And what I mean by that is my higher power doesn’t want me to be that guy. Or my or my it.
There’s a quote by Jim Carrey and you’ll like this one to Andrew. So, Jim Carrey says depression is your soul’s way of telling you that it doesn’t like the character that it’s playing anymore. My soul didn’t like, my soul was a character that I didn’t like playing anymore.
So my so I just didn’t want to be that guy. And,
and deep down even though like some parts of me like wanted to, you know, be drunk every day and live my life that way. And just this year
Not where I was meant to be, I believe the
you know, around ethics, I’m kinda like, and I’m not gonna, I’m not going to, you know, blow myself up over here, but I’m kind of like a go-to guy when it comes to like, sobriety and things like that I’ve already had, you know, several friends around here they asked me, you know,
I’m trying to get clean, like what can I do and I’ve had a couple of people that have gotten clean around me as well. And, you know, that feels are really good. I think being a part of their lives is has been the pinnacle and they even tell you that in the 12 step program is, you know, the people that you help, you know, the newcomers that are coming in are the most important people because there’s those are the people to help keep us over
and you
You get to keep what you have by giving it away.
You gotta act as a river, let it flow through you to the next piece instead of the reservoir that just holds it all towards it for later, just always flowing through and it’s always fresh when it’s always flowing. So, Jake, I want to be conscious of your time but if there’s one piece of advice you could give to someone who’s trying to get sober, what would you say is the most important thing that someone should do?
take an honest look at where you’re at in your life. And, if you’re aware because I think that sobriety has a lot to do with awareness and take a look at you. Take a look at where you are. You know, I remember
when I first got into the water set in Florida, they asked me
what
Do you know what I was doing? And I told him I was living in the Mexicans garage, you know,
you know, drinking and getting high. And but it wasn’t that bad. And they were like, let’s get you your,
your, your, what’s the word for it?
Yeah, no, I That’s it. That’s it, you know, I was there not verifying but you know talking about so I think the biggest thing is,
you know take a step back from if you can take a step back from drinking and just be aware of your surroundings and see And if that’s not really where you want to be in your life, then have a bucket mentality and go into go and go into a program or if you can do that, just go to the rooms
Yeah, the rooms of 12 step recovery, I know, have helped millions of people and they sometimes get a bad rap from people that don’t have the bucket mentality. They want to hang on to their old way of thinking as well as take on a new way, but they kind of straddle both. And then when you straddle both, you’re, you’re not actually going forward with the new way of living, you’re,
you’re living in fear of changing the way that it used to be, which isn’t getting you the results that you want. So I think that’s great. You know, awareness is huge. Because if you’re not aware of the problem, then how are you supposed to fix it? But then the next step is having that willingness to move forward with a different way of living. And it’s funny because we will fight tooth and nail to justify I should I want to stay in this guy’s garage. This is what I want. It’s like, you don’t actually want that. It’s just what you know, and
You’re afraid of what might happen because what if somehow it’s worse? And that’s kind of the lie we tell ourselves. But Jake, thank you so much for being on the show. You’ve dropped a ton of nuggets. Where can people find you online if they want to learn more about the stuff that you’re doing?
You can find me on Facebook at Jake Cushing and also Instagram J. Cush is me.