Tim Stoddart – Sober Since March 4, 2010
Founder of Sober Nation and a huge tribe of recovering alcoholics and addicts who have a voice thanks to his platform.
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Welcome to Self Made & Sober. I’m your host, Andrew Lassise and with me today is Tim Stodzy, the founder of Sober Nation, the CEO of Stodzy Internet Marketing, and an investor who’s been sober since March 4 2010. Tim, how are you?
I’m doing great, man, thank you so much for having me. It’s a pleasure.
Yeah, absolutely. It’s really cool. You know, how people like-minded with, you know, backgrounds in entrepreneurship, backgrounds in recovery, how we can all come together and have a, you know, like, we go through these trials and tribulations in our lives, and then it comes around and you know, we meet some really interesting people with really interesting stories. So why don’t you give us a background on, you know, 2010 what’s going on in your life at that point?
Yeah, I’d be happy to.
Again, thank you so much for having me, having me on your show is always a pleasure to just get to speak to people and tell my story and have an opportunity to meet new people. So I appreciate it. Basically, my story is very similar and also unique in its own way, I’ve kind of learned that, that as different as we all are, it’s there’s a lot of similarities, but between how we get to where we gotta go, so you know, long story short, I, I was always kind of an experimental kid, here a lot felt different. felt just uncomfortable. Basically, everywhere I went, you know, I would be at a party. And I would say something and they just instantly think they’re, like what I said, I shouldn’t have said, and you know, next time I’d be like, I’m just keeping my mouth shut. And then I would just be the quiet kid in the corner and just be like, Man, I wish I knew how to talk to people and, and that feeling. Like you talking about it now. And it sounds so dramatic, but but at the time, that feeling really really just kept me from being myself and meeting people and just kept me super isolated. You know, I was like one of those kids that did everything alone. Still, to this day, I have a lot of those habits, but it’s a little bit more balanced. And, and skateboarding was basically like my way out. I hated school, like really hated it. I felt like school was a prison for me. And so I would get home from school and just instantly jump on my skateboard and just escape all night and now escape all weekend. And, and I really loved it, it was great. And so I continued to kind of have that identity I really identified as just sort of one of those like, Rebel skater kids, like I look, I looked up to people like Tony Hawk and, and Bucky classic, and I just, I really idolized these people. And it’s, it’s all I wanted to do, and it’s I wanted to be so. So by the time I was, like, old enough to wear these isolating habits, and you know, the drug abuse wasn’t just like a thing anymore. It was really, really affecting my life. I was 23 and, like, severely malnourished, and, um, you know, I come from like a working-class family, we, we never went without meals by any means. But you know, never, it was always a struggle for us. And, and I respect families that have to work hard and put in those 60, sometimes 80 hour weeks, because I can relate to that. And finally, it just it came to a screeching halt. Like, my mother had basically a brain, a brain operation, and she really wasn’t going to survive the surgery. And I, we had to fly out to Stanford, California. And the moment in my story that I was talking about was my mom was was wheeled into the hotel room. And she couldn’t really walk anymore, like what she had was on her brainstem and it really affected like her motor skills and kind of had like stroke-like symptoms where her eyes were in sort of different directions. And her face was a little bit lopsided. And she came in to the hotel room where I was and she asked if I would go with her to like the pre op appointment, just because she was really scared. And, you know, I just from Philadelphia, I just got off like a six hour flight. And I was just really, really sick, like, like withdraw sick, dope, sick, and it was terrible. You know, I felt so terrible. And I told my mom that like, I couldn’t go to the pre op with her just because, you know, I was sick, and I needed to kind of do my thing. And I just remember, I don’t know how graphic Dominique I’m trying to keep it kind of cordial, but I remember kind of breaking up these lines on a desk, and, and then looking out the window after I felt that like, sorta relief. And just looking out this window in California being like, ma’am, man, I just told my mom that, like, I wouldn’t be there for her in like, what very well could be the day, like one of the last days of her life. And, and it just fucked to me, you know. And so my mom survived the surgery, and she’s still alive. And my mom’s a badass, you know, but that that was it. And so I got home and my partner and my uncle sorta had a talk with me it was, I wouldn’t call it an intervention, I guess in some ways it was but like everybody knew, you know what I mean? Like my family real tight. And we all just kind of sat down. I was like, all right, like, I need to get some help and dumb. And I did have a real quick relapse about five weeks in. But I just got over that pretty quickly. Basically, what happened, my grandfather died, and I went home to the funeral. And I just I stayed too long. And so then I got my cousin lives in South Florida. And at the time, he was like, three years clean. And I basically just crashed on his couch. And, and he kind of got me started on my path. And I haven’t looked back since.
That’s awesome. And what are some of the strategies that you were using? Was it like 12 step recovery? What was? What was the early sobriety looking like for you?
Yeah, for sure. I definitely am an advocate of the 12 steps. I don’t like push it upon anybody, because it doesn’t necessarily need to be everybody’s foundation. But I love that because of so many people and
I, and I do I’m a product, 12 steps, but like from the podcast, and just meeting so many different people with different perspectives and different stories, it’s like, you know, in, in the rooms, it’s like, it’s 12 step or nothing, like you say that you’re happy and you’re not doing the 12 steps, like you’re lying, you’re not happy and six, I mean, maybe they are like, like, not everyone has to have the same, the same outcome, the same results with you know, trying different things. But I mean, I, I know I’m an I’m a happy customer, but I’m with you, I’m, I used to be the kind of person that was like, You have to do it this way, or else. Sure. It’s like, you know what, man? Like, if you’re happy, like, cool.
Yeah, I totally agree with that i got a lot of different viewpoints on my website on Sober Nation, and you just hear so many different stories and like, like, not everybody has the same. The same circumstances. Like I’ve talked to people that live in the middle of nowhere, and they’re like, you don’t understand , like, there are any meetings. And at first, I think to myself, like, Yeah, whatever. Like, if you really wanted it, you would just go make it happen. And then I have conversations with people in there like, no, bro, like, you don’t get it. Like I live on a farm. Like I’m a farmer, I got no one to talk to. And in a lot of ways, like these online communities have become really great. Like what you’re doing right now, these podcasts. This is why anytime somebody asked me to be on a podcast and talk about my story, like, if it’s a big podcast, if it’s a small podcast, it doesn’t matter, because there’s always somebody listening to it. And it’s like the stories that I think the foundation of all of the recovery, whether it’s 12 steps or smart recovery, or like therapy, or whatever it is, it’s all about just like finding a connection. And however, you find that connection, man, like, that’s, that’s what you gotta do. So I fully support anybody, however, they can get it. It’s important, you know?
Yeah, so early on in recovery, you’re doing 12 steps, you’re with your cousin on his couch, like, what was was there a time in your life where you were, where it kind of like clicked. And it was like, You know what, like, this new way of living. This is now like my norm like this is my default switch like, I am now I am no longer like, Tim, the drug addict, like, I’m Kim, the sober man, like, when did that switch happen for you?
That’s a great question. And, and I was really fortunate, in that I did have like, a real sort of defining moment where that, you know, they call it the obsession was just sort of, I don’t know, if I would ever say that it was lifted, but where I had a clear picture of, of who I wanted to be. Um, so for people that are familiar, I’m going to repeat it anyway. But for people that aren’t, if you join a, there’s a book that we follow, it’s called the big book. But there’s also another book called the 12, and 12. And it goes through in a little bit more detail. The specifics of the steps and, and in the big book itself, there’s Step six, and seven, which don’t really have a whole lot of detail. And in the 12, these two steps go through a lot more detail. And like, and the point of those two steps, it’s, it’s different for everybody and its own way, but like, for me, it was just about saying that it’s okay, to want to be this kind of person, like I just, I was able to paint a real clear picture of the kind of person that I want to be because to me, it was always like those people that just have confidence, and they don’t feel the need to tell everybody how great they are. Because that was me, you know, like, I, when I did talk, I felt like I just was overly arrogant, really, because I just, I was so insecure about myself and what I believed and it just because I didn’t really understand myself, and I didn’t, I just didn’t really have a good like, internal dialogue. And when I read the 12, and two, all I, I was able to really paint this like picture of them up, man, not just like a punk fucking kid. But like a grown man who believed in himself and was stoic enough that he didn’t feel like he needed to shout at the rooftops, but also was confident enough that like, when something needed to be said, he can say his peace without trying to like, convince everybody of his own motives. And, and like, man, after reading that me and my sponsor, at the time, we it took us like four hours because like every sentence, I just felt like I was getting punched with just this clarity. And when I say punch, I mean that like it felt like I was getting hit with these just really clarifying moments of, of like who it was that I wanted to be. And I’m really, really fortunate for that. Because it’s not like that for everybody. Like some people need to just sort of grind it out. And like, there’s not really a defining moment. And if that’s your journey, like, by all means, keep going, you know, but I was so fortunate in that I just had that, that moment where I was able to just say to myself, like, this is who I want to be, and it’s okay to want to work towards being a good person,
you know? And then incredible how it sounds so obvious, like when you say it out loud, it’s like, oh, yeah, if if you want to be a better person, like, there are things you can do to be a better person, but like, in that addict, alcoholic mind, it’s like, these are the cards I was dealt, and I have no control over everything, and I’m a victim. And, you know, we have a lot more control than we really give ourselves credit for. And it’s easier to be living with resentment, living with fear and blaming everything else. But then, you know, you hop into entrepreneurship, and it’s like, it’s difficult to balance that, well. I let go and let God or the I take control because like, I control my destiny. So like, how, how does that look in your life, when you’re trying to balance that? You probably is saying like, the third step versus like, Tim’s the boss, and this is what happens.
That’s a really, really important question. Not just for like other people, but in my life. Because when you’re starting your own business, the word control is, I mean, just in life in general, like that word control, I think about a lot. I really do. Because it’s it’s such as a paradox, you know, because there’s a side of me where I believe that like, if I want something, I have to do the work. And I have to have a plan and structure my day in my time in a certain way to get me closer to this goal. But then there’s another side of me that totally believes that like, the more I try to force things, the the more pain I caused myself and, and ultimately, the more and more I think about it, I come to the same conclusion over and over again. And all I do when I think about this shit is drive myself a little crazy. But I think it’s like important, it’s like, it’s just my way of like daily of reminding myself of this. So when I think about control, here’s, here’s, here’s what it comes down to. The only thing that I ever have control over and the only thing I ever will have control over is just what I do. And I can control what I do. And I can’t control the outcome of what I do. You know, it’s almost perfect timing, because I’m a follower of Seth Godin blog. And the blog that he sent this morning was something about like, winning and losing and how we look at winning and think like, okay, I won, and I did it, right. But there’s plenty of circumstances where like, sure, you might have won, but was your preparation, everything that it needed to be and their circumstances were like, Sure, I lost, but I know, in my heart that, like, my preparation, and my contribution was like, what it needed to be. And so for me, if I just keep context over my actions, and if the things that I do, I know, I do the best that I possibly could have, I have faith in you know, you talk about that third step, I have faith that when I do that, I will go in the direction that I hope to. And, man, you know, it’s worked out for me so far. And sometimes I spent too much time trying to like, quote, figure it out, you know, but at the end of the day, if I just wake up, and I do the shit that I know, I’m supposed to do things just, it just works out.
So you’re responsible for the work that goes in, but not the results. And that’s kind of your take on the let go let God vs. vs like Tim controls, you kind of set your goal and your intention, and then lay out this is what the actions look like, in order to achieve this goal, how whatever, whether or not I achieved the goal, that part of its out of my hands, but I can do my part in the equation to try and make it to, I guess, put the most percentage points in my favor, to get the outcome that I think that I want. Because I know there have been many times in my life where, you know, when you talk about winning versus losing, there have been plenty of times where on paper I lost. But that moment opened up the gates for something gigantic, just for instance, with my IT company, like the company I was at before that. It was like four or five of us. And it was like my first startup, it was my first time like, into entrepreneurship at all. And like after three or four months, like they went out of business. And that looked like such a loss. Sure. But like the reality is that opened up the door for me to go, I got a job working for somebody else for a couple months, and saw how they were doing things. And then that first company going out of business gave me the opportunity to just start what’s turned into, like, the company’s huge, we’ve got 25,000 customers, dozens of employees, multiple offices, like that was all a result of that loss, or at least it seemed like a loss for dang that company went out of business. But in all reality, when you take that let go let God view on it. It’s like, you know, I go back to that situation that’s February 2014. You say, Hey, Andrew, the company’s going to go out of business? Or do you want that to happen? Like at that time? I’d be like, No, of course not. But looking back on it now I’m like, Of course I do. She says, I know, I know what happens next. And I was at a conference this weekend. And someone Someone had said, and I don’t remember the exact words, I wish I’d written it down. But it was something about like, when you have faith, it’s because you know, at the moment, you don’t have all of the information necessary in order to make your like view on it positive. And I look back at some of those moments in my life where it was like, I lost, you know, this company went bankrupt. Like that’s a loss. We took the L on that one. But it’s like, Nah, that that was huge. I’m so grateful that it happened. And on paper, it’s great that it happened and for in life, it’s great that it happened. So I think a lot of it does come down to faith and your perspective on what’s going on in your life. Because you can roll with the punches, however you want. You can sit back sit on the couch, say, well, not for me. But at the same time, you know, one door closes. And a couple more open and being able to walk through that. But moving forward. What got you motivated to start Sober Nation ? What was going on? Like, what’s the timeframe look like on that in your sobriety? And? And what was your thinking behind it?
Well, kinda like how you just said, the original plan for Sober Nation is nothing like what it happened, what it is. And I guess that’s just another example of, of doing the work and letting the chips sort of fall where they may. So Sober Nation was originally founded by myself and an old friend. And at the time, he was working at a sales room, basically. And in order to find leads, he would look through this directory. And so he came to me as like, hey, like, I got this idea for this kind of directory site. And, and coincidentally, I have, I’ve always been a writer, like a member I told you earlier, just that whole, like isolating type thing. I’m still to this day, I bring a notebook with me everywhere I go. And I have a blog, which I write every single day and never miss a day. And it’s just it’s a thing that I do, and it helps me. So when I was first getting sober, this was 2010. I was just writing a blog. And I mean, it’s funny I just mentioned the Seth Godin, I, I found a CD, there was an old magazine called Success Magazine. And Success Magazine used to come with a CD, like an interview. This is before there were podcasts, which is crazy that like we can even say that because it was only nine years ago. So yeah, so every episode used to come with a CD. And there was this interview with Seth Godin. And they said, What can you do? And he said, start a blog, don’t tell anybody about it and write in it every day. And my first blog, it was like a blog spot. And I just would write about my journey getting sober, like how scared I was, and I was in this new place. And, you know, Florida is a lot different than in Philly, and I was just kind of adjusting to it all. And so when, when this friend approached me, I was like, Yeah, man, like, I had an idea kind of similar. Like, I was gonna start a blog around like sobriety and relate to people through these stories. And we sort of morph the ideas together, and it failed, over and over and over again. And eventually, when, you know, I really took the reins on it. And I, I made some important decisions. It turned into what I think I can say, and I don’t know this for sure. So if somebody is like, going to go look up, the numbers don’t come, like emailing me with angry tweets or whatever. But I’m pretty sure we could say is the biggest online recovery community in the world. It’s just, it’s just recently sourced. It’s personal stories. It’s it’s entertainment. It’s it is an also a resource center for people who are who need help and are trying to maybe find treatment or find sober homes, it’s, it’s anything that we could possibly put together, which we feel will be valuable for people that are either in recovery family, members of people in recovery, people that need to get sober or get clean, whatever your you know, semantics are. And it’s been like, it’s been an amazing, amazing journey, I’m more proud of server nation than really, anything I’ve done in my life. It’s, it’s, it’s, it’s really beautiful to see because the cool thing about it is, is there were a lot of things that I did, right, and I can take credit where credit’s due. But the only real thing that I did that led to like the success of this huge community, is I just let people speak, I just gave people like a platform, to tell their stories and to reach out and to support each other. And if I still to this day, like that ethos is really my philosophy for any online brand. I’ve started and I’ve got a bunch of them now. It just gives people a platform to say what they want to say to be involved in a community. And if you can build a community, you can build like a killer online business.
Yeah, it’s, it’s really cool. A guest we had a couple of couple months ago a guy, Matt Williams. Oh, I love that dude. Yeah. Okay. So you know, fro Pro. And I was, I was commenting to him, it’s like, you know, it’s a snack. But you’ve got this, like, insane following of people just hashtag go for? Wow, it’s like, how do you feel proud? You know, like, but he’s built that community. And I mean, you know, that’s, that’s like a drop in the bucket compared to Sober Nation, and the amount of people that are involved in that, but it’s, it’s the same idea that you give people a platform, to say what they want to say and show how they want to show it. And when you do it without judgment, like we were saying, where it’s not, you have to do 12 steps, or you’re wrong. Yeah. But giving people the opportunity to say, this is my truth. And, you know, it’s been really cool, like, get through this whole journey, seeing a lot of different ways. Because for the first five, six years of my recovery, it was very much very close minded to how you can get sober like now you get sober through 12 steps and unlike if you relapse because you didn’t do it, right. And if you say it didn’t work, you’re wrong. So the reality is, there’s so many other things at play, and like Who am I to say like, just because something worked for me, it’s like diets, you know, like, there’s a million different ways to lose weight and it’s not that one’s right or wrong. It’s just find something that works for you. Stick with it. It’s it’s sustainable. Does it work with the type of life that you’re living? But that’s really cool, though, that with Sober Nation , you know, you are giving people a voice and was Sober Nation before. Stodzy marketing?
Yeah, well, absolutely. Like, well, first, before I even go with that, I’m definitely gonna answer the question. Just quick plug, man, if anybody has, if anybody knows Matt Williams, or you haven’t heard of fro pro like, he is so cool. And what he is doing with that company is so badass, I have some in my freezer. And honestly, like, I’m, I’m kind of a snob with food, like my wife and I are pretty like organic, fresh food type snobs. And it’s just something that we love. But when I do eat kind of protein bars, like there’s only one snack that I eat, Matt Williams is the shit. I love that kid. So anyway, now that I got that over with, um, yeah, like, Sober Nation was a huge learning experience. And if it weren’t for me screwing up so many times on Sober Nation , I never would have really got in my, what do you call it like the, my chops together to learn the real technical elements of SEO, and social media, and building content and, and building an audience basically, like, when I tell you that server nation failed over and over again, like, Bro, I can’t even explain to you how many times I wanted to give up, and just how frustrated it was. But, like, the beautiful thing about online marketing is that it’s just honest, like, it’s very, very difficult to force your way, you have to do it, you know, like, you have to really, really do it. It’s there are shortcuts. You know, there are quote hacks, but a lot of times when you do that, you just end up having a short win and then losing it. So to answer your question, like, yeah, sober nation was before starts, he and it was the lessons that I learned on sober nation that enabled me to be a good, like, task manager that enabled me to understand, like different departments and like how social media and SEO and email is all kind of connected, but from like, a technical standpoint, how to, you know, sort of separate them as teammates so that you have like different departments that can stay focused on that one thing, but know how to like cross communicate so that we don’t stumble over each other.
And, yeah, like, even through server nation, I just, I saw this opportunity in healthcare, because healthcare is so archaic when it comes to marketing. Like when when people think of online marketing, they think of like, cool, millennial shit, like SAS products, and, and I don’t know, like t shirt companies or stuff that’s Instagram, mobile, you know, but with healthcare, so we’ll work with treatment centers will work with hospitals, like we work with stem cell clinics, um, is something that we’re really interested in. So in that healthcare space, excuse me, there’s, it’s, it’s much more about providing information because before people make healthcare decisions, like they’re scared, and they’re nervous, so they read, and they research as many things as possible. And if you can become like, an authority in that kind of thing. Um, you can usually gain people’s trust so that they get a procedure or, I don’t know, get a tooth pulled, or whatever it is that they got to do within healthcare. And, and that’s, that’s where, again, like that ethos came where it’s about trust, and it’s not about and it’s about authority, and, and yeah, like community, even within something that as cut and dry as healthcare, because if you have testimonials, and you have people saying, like, this is what happened to me, you know, like, I’ll give you a perfect example, I have an operation on Friday. And I’m like, really, really nervous about it, I have a severely herniated disc in my back, and my leg has just been like radiating and pain. And I’ve watched more YouTube videos that I can count, I basically know how to do this operation at this point. I’m all the videos, but like, even through all the research, and I live in Nashville, which is, you know, like other than Philadelphia, probably the biggest, you know, like hospital city, in the country. And even through all that, it was testimonials of people that enabled me to make my decision. And even through all of that information that we have online, it’s still like that emotional connection of like, this is a person sharing their story with me about how they got better. And that same exact thing happens over and over and over again. And that’s basically like the foundation behind my marketing agency. And that’s, that’s how we found, you know, success in something as boring and cut and dry as the healthcare space.
So it’s, it’s very much like the the attraction rather than promotion public relations policy in 12 step recovery, where it’s, here is what I did to get better if you want what I have to do what I do.
Yeah, and you know what, I never thought about it that way. But it’s it’s like exactly like that.
Yeah, the whole idea. The whole concept is, you can’t shove it down somebody’s throat and I, I don’t remember where I’d heard. But it’s basically we’ve got, we’ve got our animal instinct brain. And then we have like, our logical black and white brain and the logical black and white brain knows, I should probably stop doing drugs because my life is going to hell. But our animal brain says, I need to keep doing drugs, because I love doing it. And until you can win over your animal brain, it’s going to win 99 times out of 100, even if you know something isn’t what you’re supposed to be doing. And so people think, well, if I go to treatment, and I’ve learned enough about myself, that’s not treating your animal brain that’s treating your logical brain. So you can get a bunch of facts. But it’s like Gary Vee says you can’t read about push-ups. You have to be doing the work. And are you going to take your advice from someone who’s ripped? Are you going to take it from like some person that’s sitting on the couch saying, I read a book. You know, the whole idea with testimonials is I was in this space that you are in here is how I got out. And it doesn’t have to be as like glum as recovery or when there are procedures involved. But even if it’s, I was a person that was looking for a healthy organic snack, this episode’s brought to you by for Oprah.
And Matt Williams, I was us.
Yeah, yeah. And I was tired of all the, all the garbage that they put in Clif Bars, and I needed a solution. This is it, it tastes great data. But testimonials, that’s one of the huge things we do like in our IT company. We’ve, we’re in an industry that’s just super, super scrutinized because of all the scams online. But when we’ve got 500 positive testimonials, and you know, it very easy to win over the trust when there are so many other people getting that proof of concept. And saying to the world, you should trust this company. I was in this spot that you were in here’s how I got out. I love how that all plays together. So what are your future plans look like? For Sober Nation?
Okay, I will tell you one thing, exciting that we’re working on because because Sober Nation does great, and I have a lot of stuff that I’m excited about. But I’ve always wanted to have a membership community. And I’ve tried to do it in a bunch of different ways, especially my personal site, like I’ve tried to have a membership around my site tips.com try not to be too self promotional, but whatever.
It’ll be in the show notes. Either way. Cool. Yeah,
cool. And I just, I couldn’t get it to work. Um, and, you know, I would really what it was about is it was just like, self doubt, like, I couldn’t convince myself that I knew how to do this. And then finally, I had like, a big meeting with my team. And I said, Guys, I want to give this a shot. And in order for this to be like a real success, both in terms of like our business, and also in terms of like the community that we build, and the value that we provide, like, we’re going to have to work at this for at least a year. And we’re not going to see short gratification, and it’s going to suck and we’re going to doubt ourselves. But I think if we just go at this really hard for a year, two years, like we can do it. And so we built it’s called sobriety engine sobriety engine. com it’s gonna it’s it’s just an online paid membership, which gives people instant access to a whole bunch of really cool courses that we created, you get what we call it, daily reflections. So every morning you wake up with just like a cool little note about how to live your life for the day, like a day at a time a daily reflection and, and just some cool inspiration to stay sober and relate to other people and start your morning you get access to a secret Facebook group, which is really, really important because although like the Sober Nation page is so big and valuable, like there is some shit that people need to say that they don’t want to say, on like a public domain. And I think it’s really, really cool that we have this secret Facebook group which people can get like, real and some of its like wrong, you know, like some of these stories, it’s it’s just the nature of addiction, it’s it’s wrong like to see people support each other. Um, so that’s what we’re working on. It’s called sobriety engine, it’s five bucks a month, it’s the coolest thing to watch this grow and to watch like, how much people are enjoying these daily reflections and being part of like an even more tight knit community that just like the the, the community that celebration already is. That’s that’s where I’m at. I also have this thing called gear Boulder. It’s a little bit more of a side project. But one of my idols is guy named Brian Clark. He was the founder of this website called copy blogger, which I’ve kind of been obsessed with because it taught me how to be like a good content marketer. And he lives in Boulder, Colorado, and he had this site called year border calm, which is sort of stopped working on and I was really nervous to approach him because this dude’s like a legend and in the online entrepreneurial space, and I was like, Hey, man, like I know a whole lot about directories. And I don’t know why he stopped working on this site. I thought it was really cool. I think you should partner with me and I’ll do everything. He said yes. And like even telling it to people, I can’t believe it. And the dude kind of makes fun of me because he’s just a regular guy. Like, you know, he is but to me, it was like this icon. So anyway, I somehow landed a deal with Brian Clark on this website called year Boulder. And that’s been a fun little side project just to kinda I don’t know, say that I did it, you know, but but sobriety engine has my full attention. sober nation is still like, you know, my, my first love, I guess, if you want to be super cheesy about it, and, and a near boulders is been a lot of fun as well.
That’s awesome. So, Tim, in wrapping up, what advice do you have for someone who’s trying to get sober but keeps just relaxing? Or doesn’t feel like there’s going to be really any light at the tunnel? What actual advice would you give them?
Most important advice I ever got in my life for my sponsor. And, you know, I was definitely one of those. It was so important to me that I even got, you know, the recovery tattoo, it says make it to midnight. And it’s it’s my own version of a day at a time. Because there’s people who, you know, I agree, like, there’s five year plans and 10 year plans and like having a vision for the future and all that stuff. But for me when it comes to getting sober and more importantly, staying sober, like, all you gotta do is make it to midnight, the only thing you have to do is not drink today is not pick up today. And then you know what, when midnight comes, you can worry about that day when midnight gets here. But like, there’s nothing to worry about yet. Because like it’s not midnight, and all you gotta do is get to midnight. And then like if you put, if you put enough midnights together 30 feels like a lifetime. And then 60 feels like a lifetime. And then a year feels like a lifetime. And sure, you know, and another six months, I’m going to be sober 10 years, and like I’m 33. So the days add up and the days are going to add up like regardless, they’re going to go by, so you might as well just get to midnight. Because
because it’s just way better.
It is way better than being a drug addict and say what you want. Like, my biggest fear was that I was going to be bored. You know, like my honest, biggest fear was I was never going to have fun again. And it’s a legitimate fear to anybody that feels that way. Like I can relate and it’s important that you like admit that but damn, like, just don’t just shoot for midnight, man. Just make it to midnight and like I swear to you, I promise you on like everything that I believe that if you do that for long enough, like your life will be better. 100%
Awesome. Well, Tim, thank you so much for being on Self Made & Sober podcast. Guys, I’ll have all the links to Tim’s to Sober Nation. Everything Tim was talking about in the show notes. If you like the episode, be sure to subscribe. leave us a review on iTunes. And Tim Have a great day man.