Amy Dresner – The Episode That Got Banned From Facebook


Amy Dresner is the author of acclaimed addiction memoir, My Fair Junkie – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0758GDD5P/?ref=exp_loc_pl_rushtechsupport

twitter: @AmyDresner
FB: @amydresnerofficial
IG: @amydresner

Check out this episode!

With me today is the author Amy Dresner. She’s not only an author, but she is someone who is absolutely hilarious. She also got sober in 2013 and as listeners of the show now when you get sober in 2013 it lasts for the rest of your life or book, fair junkie, a memoir to getting dirty and staying clean. If you just go through Amazon and just read some of the reviews on it, it’s it’s so polarizing people are I love this book it changed my life and then you can tell there are the people that have the stick up their ass from like 12 step recovery that are like this book didn’t say anything I haven’t heard in a meeting and but I everything about this woman is just incredible. I’m sure you guys are going to absolutely love this show. Amy, thank you so much. Thanks for taking the time to be on self made and sober.
Of course. Thanks for having me.
Yeah, so, I mean, your story is absolutely insane. But why don’t you give us the spark notes version for the people with the short attention span
okay
I’m 49 years old I was introduced to 12 steps at and I went into my first treatment center at 25. I have been a chronic relapse or with years of sobriety and then relapsing, I now have almost six and a half years sober. I gave myself epilepsy from crystal meth. I shot coke in my neck.
I abused oxy cotton and Four Loko like which is so the grossest gnarly is drink ever and then I really been in I’ve had a couple of 50 150s psych wards and a few suicide attempts I’ve been in six rehabs, and then in 2011, I was married and things got physical. And I was pretty loaded and I just snapped and I pulled a knife on my now ex-husband, and I was arrested for felony domestic violence with a deadly weapon and went to jail. And I’m a nice Beverly Hills Jewish girl who looks like he went to college. It was just not what I was expecting. And I ended up losing everything. And when I was on a chain gang and a year of domestic violence classes, and it was life-changing, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me and I ended up writing a book about it been sober ever since and I’m a speaker and working on a second book and, you know, write articles for the fix. I’ve been writing for them for six and a half years, I guess. Yeah, and so I’m sort of the, you know, I say all the things that no one dares say, kind of thing. I never hit her. I don’t read the comment, but they nothing they’d heard in a meeting. Fuck you, my family all that book is like, no one writes an addiction like there are so few hilarious addiction members. I mean, you know, I was a sex addict too. And I talked about that. And all that stuff was really hard to write about as a woman like being like, Hi, I’m a perpetrator of domestic violence and a soaps addict and an intravenous drug user. Like, you know, it’s like, No wonder I haven’t had a date since the book came out.
Those are like the top three things that most people won’t talk about and the things that really can eat you up inside. So where did you get the strength to write about that and not to toot your horn in the like, Oh, you’re so brave.
Why do you think he was brave? I mean, I just think that if you’re writing an addiction memoir, and you’re trying to look good, you’re just not being honest enough. I mean, and the whole point of the book was to help people. That was it. I was just like, I’m going to say the shit that Nolan Garrett said I’m going to say this stuff. You know, Jerry stall blurb my book, who’s a friend of mine who’s kind of like, you know, an icon of me who wrote permanent midnight just said, if you had the nerve to live what you lived, you should have the nerve to write it. I was like, Okay. No, so the book wasn’t about making me look good. The book was about making people feel less alone and less ashamed and less broken, and laughing about allowing them to have to laugh about stuff that they just felt deep, deep shame about because I just feel like if you can’t find the humor in it, and not take yourself seriously, not that addiction is not serious, and they’re almost killed me but like, if you can’t laugh at some of your fuck-ups and some of the heavy shit that happened and forgive yourself like you’re just not going to make it.
And so many times I think, we just get this ego and we think that we are this entity that everybody is going to look down on and think, yeah, all these things about us. And I mean, I’ve been, I was getting grilled by the state’s attorney a couple of years ago. And they had they, it was this whole thing. And I guess it was just the wrong place wrong time. It was like the too long didn’t read version. But they were asking me how do you know this person how you know this person? And I was like, Oh, well, like 12 step recovery. And they were like, Oh, my God, oh, my God, they like turn off the recording. They’re like, You’re so brave for telling us that I was like, Oh, God, and they’re like, Oh, wow. Wow. Are you okay to keep talking about this? And I was just like, I mean, I was milking and I mean, I was trying to stay out of trouble. I’m like, yeah, it’s really difficult to talk about but this is important in this is my truth. me like, Wow, you’re so brave. So
I know Well, I mean, people are dying. And so I think that coming out of the closet with your story, and for me, you know, people like I go cool to see if you were still alive. I was like, I’m still alive. Like amazingly, like, I think it’s important. You know, I think that we think that our stuff is so unique, you know, like, our feelings are so unique or our struggle is so unique and so shameful. But, I mean, I can’t tell you the messages I get where people have just identified so much. They’re just like, Oh my God, thank you. Like, I thought I was the only one who felt this way or done this or blood. It’s like, No, you’re not. You know, and I think that what is going to break the stigma and help people in recovery is coming out with our stories and talking about it, and bringing coming it out and bringing out of the darkness. You know, I really do.
And what was your motivation behind writing the book?
Helping people that was really it. Swear to God, and like writing of addiction memoir that was funny because there aren’t many addiction memoirs that are funny. I mean, I’m a comic. And when I was on the chain gang when I was doing community labor, and I was sweeping the streets, it was like me and like, you know, I showed up and I was like, Oh my god, like all these criminals like I got, you know, and it was like, it was like me and like 40 Mexican. I was like, Oh shit, and they were like, what can we have full data? You know, I’m here for DUY, what can we afford? I was like, I’m here for felony domestic violence with a deadly weapon. And we’re like, oh my god, you know, holy shit. So it turned out that like, I was the criminal like, I was the worst one. I was like, one of the only people there for violent assault, which is it flipped everything. It was so humbling. And I had started to document and on Facebook, like every day I was on the chain game, like another day on the chain gang. And this is what I learned instead of being ashamed of it. And people got behind me and they were laughing and they were just like, oh my god, that was you know, when I finished my time, they will just like do it. You know, get arrested again. That was amazing. And I was like, Yeah, I don’t think so. But my editor at the fixed at the time was just like, that’s your book, man. That’s the framework for your book. And I was like, Oh, you’re right. So the framework of the book is sort of the, you know, the community labor with flashbacks to, you know, 20 years of,
of relapses and addiction and, you know, crazy stories and all that kind of stuff.
And was there a period of time when you were writing? Not about addiction, or where, where was the words?
Yeah, I’ve always been a writer. I was a writer before I was an addict. So I was writing in college and that kind of stuff for papers. My father’s a writer, you know, I was writing in high school, all that stuff. So it was like, for sure, you know? And then I sort of fell into writing for the fix. A previous editor asked me to write about sex and dating in 12 steps. I don’t know. Cuz she was like, it would be really funny. I don’t know if it’s because I was slutty at the time or whatever, I don’t even know. But I was like, okay, so I wrote it and people were like, Oh my god, this is hilarious. And it’s like, there’s not much recovery writings funny. And I think it’s really important that we keep our sense of humor. For me, that’s what kept me alive. I was like, you know, and kept me from just like, spiraling out and shame.
And why do you think people don’t just have a sense of humor about it? I know, I feel that you know, what happened in the past? It is what it is. And like, when I was going through it, it was absolutely terrible, but it’s horrible. Horrible coming out on the other side, like, I’ve got some really good stories. Like, you know, when you’re at a party and you’re meeting people for the first time and you need like a good icebreaker, it’s like, you want to hear about the time I threw up all over myself in front of the car. It’s like, um, but I guess you know when enough time has been removed It’s like, Well, I mean, this story is seven years old. So like, I don’t really feel any love. And that’s the whole thing is tragedy plus time equals comedy. You know, it’s not funny at the time, but I mean, I think you know, from being in 12 step that like we share horror stories. I’m gonna laughing, you know, wearing normal people would just be like, horrified, but we’re like, hysterical.
Yeah, I think normal people. I like how you had said, that is one of the best things that ever happened to you. And I’ve, I’ve felt that way a lot of times to where I don’t really like that I had the problems that I had. But as a result of getting those problems, it forced me to find a solution and that solution turned into a much better life than I had in previous to finding the solution. So what were some of the things in your life, that I mean, obviously like being an addict to not being an addict, that in itself is a win for most people? But what were the fringe benefits that came alongside it?
Well, I mean, losing everything I had been very spoiled and I didn’t want to take care of myself and I didn’t want to grow up and I think that’s very attic the stuff too is like avoiding responsibility and you know, wanting the easy way out and not kind of stuff and so I really feel like you meet your destiny on the road you go to avoided and you know, I it was like I had a trust fund and then I married a rich guy and then I left was left penniless in a psych ward. And I was like, oops, you know, it was like time to grow up and be self-supporting and that kind of stuff. And I’m so I had no choice but to do that and also coming from sort of like, you know, this this you know, Hollywood you know, BelAir background to being on medical disability, that sort of fish out of water, just the flipping of it, and experiencing this whole other world and just realizing that, you know, Money makes things easier, but it’s certainly Doesn’t mean, you know, make you happy and that I was aware of prior because, you know, I’ve had money and not had money but I also think that, you know, when everything is given to you, you don’t have a sense of accomplishment. You know, there’s that saying, you know that self-esteem comes from esteem mobile x, and I just did it. I felt hollow. I didn’t feel like I had any worth because I never had to do anything for myself. So all of a sudden, I had to do everything for myself. And, and that changed me as a person and also, you know, the community labor I not was I had an epiphany doing community labor. I mean, I was sweeping the streets. It’s like eight hours in the sun. It’s super exhausting. No one talks to you. Or you know, they’re like you’re a criminal except for people who think that it’s like volunteers like environmental stuff. They’re like, Oh my god, I love what you’re doing.
I love the environmental as I’m like, how do I become part of this and like just brandish a knife on Someone it’s so easy to be
only been like, you’re in like a clean team uniform sweeping like syringes and human feces. I mean, it’s gnarly. It’s so gnarly. And I just was feeling really sorry for myself. And I was just like, this sucks. And you know, I’m 40 something years old and broke. And, you know, like, I have a fucking felony and like, Ah, you know, I was just like, and I was like, you know, kind of newly sober and he just went, wait a second. This could be the best thing that ever happened to you, Amy. What could be the worst thing and it’s your decision. And then, later on, I found that’s what my book opens with that Will Rogers quote which is like the worst thing that happens to you can be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you. And I was like, okay, like, this didn’t happen by accident. This is really the result of all of your, you know, actions. So why don’t you accept the consequences? And like, are the lessons here? Maybe this isn’t a, you know, an accident? Like, what are the lessons you could learn here besides learning to sweep really well, which now I’m terrific at sweeping so far, but anyone wants to marry me. Wow, am I a good sweeper? Um, you know, I was like, well, there’s humility, and there’s teamwork, and there’s finishing what you start and blah, blah, blah, and, and it just, you know, all of a sudden, I embraced it. And the whole thing shifted. And I just thought you have 240 hours coming labor, you better find the fucking joy and finding this or you’re, you’re not going to finish you’re not gonna, you’re going to be miserable.
So what do you think caused that shift in your mindset? I
have no idea. You know, that’s a question. I don’t know. You know, whether that was like a spiritual awakening or whatever, I don’t really know. I mean, I just I just had a shift of perspective. I just thought You know you better you know what, because I mean, I had struggled for so long and what I was doing wasn’t working. And I just thought you better change your whole approach, you know, to everything. And so you know, I was in sober living for two and a half years and I ended up taking being the nanny of the house managers baby for a year and I never had had children and it wasn’t maternal at all. And I had this weird connection to this baby. And I ended up having this baby strapped to me for like a year was like the nanny, you know, and I turned out it was I was actually really good at it. And I was like, Oh, wait, maybe I’m not the selfish princess that I think maybe I actually, you know, have the maternal service oriented things and all I think the community labor Plus, you know, it’s taking care of the baby plus losing everything. All that sort of humbled me and made me more service oriented and other oriented which is what I needed, and also So that no one was gonna, you know, people were over it. My parents, my friends, everyone was like, we’re done, dude, we’re so done. You know, you’ve been doing this dance for 2030 years. We’re like, we’re tired of you at the bottom of the well, man, you’re on your own. And I just thought, Oh shit, no one’s gonna fix it for me. That was a big that was a big epiphany. Like, nobody is going to fix it for me. No one’s going to save me. No one’s going to fix it for me. It’s on me.
So when you take ownership of your life, you’ve come to find that because you are putting one foot in front of the other and you have decided that like life isn’t out to get me and I love how you were talking about how it’s what can I learn from this situation? Because so many times people just they just lay dead you know? It’s just Well yeah,
he does quote Tony Robbins with all the fucking you know, stuff that’s been around him lately, but he did say something interesting was watching mentor, and it’s like whatever you think of him, he was like, once you realize the universe is happening for you and not to you game over and I was like, that’s kind of true. You don’t mean it sort of changes your attitude because there’s really no power in being a victim. You know, and I played a victim for years and years and years and years and it’s like, okay, you get to feel sorry for yourself. That’s it. But once you take responsibility, there’s power there. To change things. Yeah, my.
When I first got into 12, step recovery, I remember the kind of the, the moment where I realized just everything I was doing. It just wasn’t working. It was like, you’re 26 you have nothing to show for yourself. You’re, you know, me trying to run my life, to the best of my ability. landed me in rehab and everyone just Like you said over it, I threw a party for myself. The day before I went to rehab. One person showed up. And all of the people that were invited were my roommates who lived with me. They didn’t show up all they had to do to show up was be home. And they all God is just where I was landing. Hey, everyone, Andrew is going to rehab. Let’s do it. Right. And it’s like, we’re really not into being your friend like nobody is.
I love how we all get loaded on our way to rehab like that’s like one last party. Like it’s like, oh,
yeah, I do that when I’m eating healthy too. And I just
Oh, right. Yeah, right before you start eating junk food.
Yeah, gotta gotta eat just one more pint of ice cream and then another pint of ice cream for that diet. That’s tomorrow. Activity game so tomorrow never comes. So a better job today. Yeah. I mean, the addiction, you know, it’s like they say like, the drugs and alcohol like that was the symptom like my role Yeah, myself.
Well yeah and also I mean, the more I’ve looked into it, you know, there’s also a lot of biology there too. I mean, I I’ve interviewed Dr. Wentz minions and addiction ology, and psychiatrists and he’s sober and he used to own a rehab. And there’s a lot army our brains are actually physically different from other people’s and whether that’s from trauma or biology mean there’s a genetic component for a lot of us and it’s like, you know, our dopamine system is just not the same as other people’s. So I mean, I actually did a test for a genetic mutation, wherein you don’t, where there’s a mutation in the enzyme that allows you to create element full fully from fully from vegetables and element the full ages to building blocks. dopamine and serotonin. And I have a genetic mutation where I can’t create enough elemental folate. So now I take a supplement for
it is that is is that something genetic from birth? Or is that a result?
Yeah, that’s, that’s a genetic thing. And there’s a lot of there’s, you know, and it’s like you can get tested for and what’s men was saying 80% of the addicts that he treated, had this genetic mutation. So I mean, I think that aside from doing the work, you know, you’ve got to sort of balance out your brain chemistry in the best way that you can, you know, so I’m, you know, I have a long history of addiction in my family and mental illness. So I sort of got the genetic lottery with that.
Yeah, but like you said, it did turn out to be one of the best things that happened although while you were in
it, I needed be the best thing. That’s the thing you choose to make it be the best thing that happens to you. You know, it’s a choice. Like, am I going to take this thing and, and and help people? Am I going to take this thing and let it sort of like, burn off all the extraneous bullshit and make me into the best person I can be? Where am I going to just you know, plenty of people just languish or feel sorry for themselves or die, you know, you have to take the reins, you have to accept the situation and make the best of it. I mean, I think that, you know, in terms of being an addict and an alcoholic, you know, there’s a sort of obsessive component to myself, and a kind of a compulsion that if you can rein that in towards good things like exercise or meditation or creativity and blah, blah, like, you know, those things are good. I mean, some of my best qualities come from my addictive background.
I think that’s a really good perspective because we can definitely choose to just let it destroy us or we can use positive things.
Yeah, if you can rein that energy, that weird compulsive, you know, energy, you can do really cool stuff. You know, but if you let the reins Go, man, the horse is going to kick you off and you’re Fox, you know. So it was like, you know, I mean, I’m lucky as a writer, there’s nothing, everything is material, nothing bad can happen to you. It’s all material.
I love that perspective. So, you know, and in regards to writing, you’re working on your second book now. Correct.
I’m thinking about it. I’m writing notes you’re writing? Yeah. I mean, well, you know, as he as you know, so I went up my father, my mother has dementia and my father has cancer. They’re not together. And I know I’m an only child. And so, you know, for someone who didn’t want responsibility universities, like here, you know, so I was like, oh, okay, like, you know, I’m like mother, my mom’s power of attorney and blah, blah and like, I went up to help my dad and I ended up You know straining my hand you know nothing like waking up your father who you know weighs fucking 650 pounds in six to with a chemo port and being like, Can you draw me to the emergency ward a thinker broke my hand I was like, oh, right always needy, always dramatic always about me. You know, it’s like God Amy. But it was good it made him feel like a dad and needed and and not the Uber patient, you know what I mean? You got to feel needed. So I’ve been in a splint for God just a week and it was hard not to feel sorry for myself because I couldn’t actually do anything. I couldn’t ride. I couldn’t drive. I couldn’t wash my hair. I couldn’t do anything. Finally got the splint off. And I mean, all that stuff is you know, gonna be hilarious later. It’s not that funny now, but you know, but life happens. I mean, that’s something you get sober and life is in session. You know, you know, I got my heart broken. I got you know, my parents are ill, you know, money. problems like, you know, all this kind of stuff and it’s like, how do you get to you know, you have to, you know, navigate life, we’re not immune to that stuff. But I think for me, what’s what’s been interesting or difficult is that after, you know, years and years of mental illness and addiction, sort of being shot into the world in my 40s, and having all this grown up stuff and not having the skills to sort of navigate it, and having to learn from other people in 12 step like hey, how do you do this? How do you how do you respond to a you know, an ill parent? How do you you know, how do you know when to rotate your tires? How do I do my taxes? Like I don’t know, like, how do you put on a delay cover by themselves? Like, for real like I can, you know, it’s like, Hey, I can make a crap bomb out of a mountain dew bottle, but I don’t know how to you know, want to change my oil like hello. Like, you know,
when you learn different skills for different different times in your life, like When you’re when you’re in elementary school, having the right shoes is a very important thing. I guess when you get older, having the right shoes can be important to depending which which crowd you’re running in. But my, my nephew, he, he made this was like a year or two ago he was I guess six ish at the time. And he he made a paper airplane and he threw it and it got stuck on top of the cabinet. And he starts bawling, bawling his eyes out and I was just like, I wonder what it’s like to give them shock, like, give that many folks about a paper airplane. Like there’s so many other things going on in the world right now. That paper airplane in that moment, was the most important thing and the solution. Okay, here I climbed up here you go, buddy. Wow, I’m a hero. We choose to focus the limited amounts of flux that we have to give and we focus them on either stupid shit. Or we can focus on things that are productive. And we can learn how to actually live a productive life, provide value to others help other people like, these are all choices, like you said, and you can just not do any of that. I mean, in this same exchange, you know, I mean, victim, but I mean, he’s also the perpetrator, and
in the saga of paper airplanes on the captain.
I mean, I think the biggest thing that I learned in this recovery finally was, you know, to not pay attention to my feelings, like fuck my feelings. You know, like, if I’m gonna, if I’m gonna live my life according to my feelings, I’m going to be all over the place. And it’s like, you know, I remember as a sponsor, it said to me, I, you know, he said, You don’t have to be a good person. You just have to act like my no one knows the difference, because you’re judged by your actions. You’re not judged by your intentions. No one gives a shit about your intentions. Like Sorry, I meant to be there like were you there we go. They’re like, no one cares about your intentions, you know, you’re judged on your actions. And so I just started to act like the person I wanted to be and act according to set of values that I wish I had sort of, you know, Incorporated. And eventually you become that person. I mean, there’s, there’s actual neuroscience called, you know, by directionality and neuro plasticity, where if you sort of take, you know, the same action over and over and over again, you know, you create a new neural pathway where that’s your default. So, I mean, we created that in our addiction, a negative sort of neural pathway. And now I’ve created new neural pathways that are sort of good, you know what I mean? Like, you know, we’re in now it’s natural for me to show up and do things for other people. And you know, I don’t have to pretend to be to be there for people and care. I do actually care I do show up, or there’s no chemistry, you know what I mean? I’m translating my sort of neural pathways.
Are there any other story strategies you can use other than fake it till you make it in order to achieve that.
Yeah, contrary action, it doesn’t matter how you feel, fuck your feelings, your feelings change all the time. You know, it’s like your action. Like, you know, consistent action is what matters. If you wait till you’re going to feel like working out or writing the book or washing your shoes, good luck. Yeah, you know, you wait forever, you’re never going to feel like it. But then you take the action and then all of a sudden you feel differently. Action changes your feelings, but it took me years to get there man. I was like, No, my feelings I feel this way and you know.
So what are your thoughts on censorship and
OU?
So, you know,
I seem to be you know, feel like you’re like an icon of recovery. I’m like, I’m more like the asshole of recovery, but You know, well, I’m not a PC the book is not PC. I think that you know people like she’s unlikable in her book. It’s like yeah, if you’re mentally ill and a drug addict you’re unlikable if I had been likable I would have probably not got sober and there’s nowhere to go if there’s some fucking Angel when you’re shooting coke and stabbing people um, but uh, you know, as an ex comic, and as a writer, freedom of speech is really important to me and I think that you know, what’s more important than a term is sort of what’s behind the term and how you treat people and so yeah, I recently did a I was recently a guest on rare form radio, which is very much about like, you know, freedom of speech and like saying the shocking shed and it was like talking about Dave Chappelle his new thing and blah, blah, and I got that episode up on Facebook, and instant Graham I don’t know, if someone was like, you know, reported is abusive or violated community standards, or I got caught up in this algorithm with they’re not letting anyone post links because, you know, unless you you know, outright condemn sort of the alt right and anti semitism which hi like I’m a liberal jus like, Hello, that’s a given. Yeah, they just won’t let me post that stuff. And so it’s, it’s interesting, I think it’s a dangerous time to limit stuff, especially when, you know, with addiction and people are dying, and I didn’t see anything in that podcast that was that outrageous at all. But, you know, there are people that you know, don’t like when you, you know, shake it up, I guess. Yeah, I don’t know. I mean, I’ve never been had a great filter. And so you know, for me to write a book and whatever like other I finally found, like a place where not having a filter was a good thing where people like thank you for keeping it real, like Hello, like, and not just saying what’s PC or whatever, because there’s no you know what, there’s nothing PC about addiction. I’m sorry, it’s gnarly, and it’s ugly and all that kind of stuff like, but I’ve gotten in a lot of trouble where, you know, like that whole new sobriety movement. I like, really, I was like, Hey, man, like, that’s cool. Like, if you want to do a dry January, and mock tails and wear a shirt, you know, a sparkly shirt that you know, has some dumb slogan on it or whatever. But like, I just want you to remember that for most of us, it wasn’t a health trend, like, Oh my God, my skin’s that much better and I can wake up and not feel hungover. My spin class is amazing. You know, it’s like for some of us, it wasn’t trendy or and it wasn’t like, like a social rebellion. It was a life and death situation. And I think that that’s really important to remember. When people are just like, trying it on for size and thinking that it’s you know, a choice because for most of us It wasn’t a choice. I can’t I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to stop drinking and using and I could not.
And I said that and boy I got my ass handed to me. Whoo.
So what would you say is the number one thing someone who’s struggling with addiction trying to get better? What’s the number one thing that they should do?
Be honest and don’t fucking give up. Don’t give up. Love. If 12 steps not right for you. There’s a zillion other different types of programs and find something where you can have a support network and you can be honest, and you can be accountable and don’t give up and if you have underlying mental you know, mental illness, make sure you get that addressed and get on medication for that and don’t give up. I don’t care how many times you fallen down, you can still get it Don’t beat yourself up about it and don’t you know, there’s a whole thing about shame you know, shame is just, she never helped me and what’s been says is shame actually lowers your dopa me. So to beat yourself up and shame yourself, lowers your dopamine and then what are you going to do when you have low dopamine? Your brain is going to go, Oh, I need dopamine and how do you get dopamine, sex, drugs, alcohol, nicotine, you know, whatever, ice cream, whatever, it doesn’t matter, your brain just going to the dope. I mean, so it’s like, it’s really important, I think to have. I’m not saying not, don’t hold yourself accountable. But I’m saying, for me, self-hatred and shame and all that kind of stuff just kept me using. And one of the reasons 12 step works is because we get into a room with other people, and we don’t feel less than
and our dopamine goes up, we feel connected.
And we and that’s, you know, where it’s other people like us who’ve done the same things and understand Our brain and our fucked up thinking, where it’s like, oh, a six-shot latte is you know a good idea.
I mean sometimes,
always always.
I’ve done that and given myself a seizure, I’m like, Oh, good, good. You know, I drink so much coffee and sobriety almost threw up. I’m like, go I got that moderation thing down doing good Amy doing good.
You know what, though? Too much caffeine probably hasn’t torn apart nearly as many families as too much everything else.
Yeah, I just think being gentle with yourself while continuing to hold yourself accountable. There’s that balance. I think it’s really important to not just keep beating yourself up that just never helped me that just made me feel there was a point where I was just like, I’m going to die drug addict. This is it. You know, I’m not going to get this. And my parents believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. Find someone that believes in you, you know, and just hook on to their belief go well, I don’t think I can get this but I’ve been Leave that you believe. I’m going to just borrow some of that I’m going to believe that you believe and I’m gonna, you know, ride on that. And that’s what kept me going for a long time. I was like, I’m gonna die this way. My parents were like, No, I think you’re gonna get it. And I was like, Okay guys, and they were right.
Hey, you know, we are allowed to be wrong at times, especially when it pans out as well for us, as you know, it has in both of our lives. But Amy in wrapping up, where can listeners find out more about you?
Um, I have a website www.AmyDresner.com. I’m on. I’m still on Facebook. Kick me off. Yeah. Amy Dresner, I’m on Twitter @amyDresner on Instagram. Amy Dresner, I write for the fix you can I’ve written probably over 60 articles for them and gun you can find me all over the place. Awesome zillion pod.
We’ll have links to all the things we talked about in the show notes.
Yeah. And the book and you can buy the book my friend donkey on Amazon, Barnes and Noble target wherever,
you know. Yeah. And we’ll have links to that in the show notes as well. And guys, be sure to check out Amy’s book. My Fair junkie. absolutely incredible. Amy, thank you so much for being on the show. I know you’ve had a pretty crazy life in the last couple of months. So I really appreciate your time and for everyone listening. Be sure to subscribe to the show. leave us a review on iTunes. I greatly appreciate it. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, the whole shebang. love hearing feedback from you guys and Amy, have a great day.
Thanks, Andrew. Thanks for having me.

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