Mandyy Thomas – Financial Coach Extraordinaire With a Decade Sober


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Have you ever felt like you were doing ok, but it still wasn’t enough financially? Financial coach, Mandyy Thomas helps people get past the mental blocks and helps them holistically do better with their finances in their life.

 

www.selfmade-coaching.com/

Check out this episode!

I’m your host, Andrew Lassise and with me today is the magnificent Mandyy Thomas, the financial coach who helps high-income earners, get their finances in order and make for a better financial future. Mandyy, how are you? I am Great. Thank you so much for having me. Yeah, absolutely. And by the time this is coming out, congratulations on your 10 year anniversary of sobriety. Thank you so much. So early September 20, or 2009 what’s going on in your life right before you’re getting sober it’s everything peachy we’re running into some trouble with the law what’s your life looking like at that time?
So my parents had went through a divorce when I was in grade 12. So when I was 17 years old, and I grew up in a really tiny, small town, and it’s kind of just what everybody did was you kind of just drank it was something that everyone did for fun. And it was something that I did as well. And then when I became 19 years old, I started to realize, like, you know what, maybe I don’t identify with drinking as much, but I’m from a small town, every single person doesn’t. So I actually tried to quit drinking before my before I officially actually did. I found it was really difficult. Just a lot of peer pressure. It was really tough. And then in September, what ended up happening for me was my friends went back to school, and I was in a different location. So we were all apart, which was actually okay. And the weekend that I ended up quitting drinking was I was at work and I wasn’t feeling very well. I started our family has a genetic condition. And I started having these really bad chest pains and I thought it felt like I was getting stabbed in the chest. So they rushed me to the ER. I was there for three days and nothing came back as a regular except my liver power was high and they said, Well, have you been drinking? And I said no, I hadn’t drank and it was about a week and a half. And it was just there that weekend that I had already thought about quitting drinking that it wasn’t you know, I was doing it more so to numb my feelings of you know, my parent’s divorce. And in that moment I went, my health is so much more important than I already thought that I wanted to quit drinking anyway. So I decided literally right there that weekend in the hospital. I had no idea why the liver panel was my at all but I thought alcohol sure is not going to make this any better. So where I live, which is in Scotland, our legal drinking age here is 19. So I quit drinking five months after I technically actually became legal, which a lot of people say you know, How on earth did you do it? So one thing was helpful was kind of that wake-up call if you’re kind of having some liberation. So if you want to keep drinking, it’s probably not going to make it any better. Why?
whatsoever and my friends going way which was helpful to give me because it definitely like even after six months it was so much easier to just say no like I just don’t drink anymore. It’s perfectly fine I’ll still have fun but at first holy cow was really really difficult because everybody knew me as Maddie was really fun and bubbly and it’s funny looking back now I’m like, do I used to be an extrovert or was that just when I drank alcohol because I’m pretty much an introvert now.
It was definitely a process at first of saying no, like, I don’t want to drink and it was crazy to see how many people felt uncomfortable because of that because I felt comfortable. I thought you know what, I can come out I can drink ginger ale or I can just make sure that everybody gets a safe ride home like isn’t that amazing that someone’s being a DD and it was crazy. The backlash that I got from that my family was super supportive. But a lot of my friends were absolutely not which was definitely tough.
Yeah, I think getting sober at 19 to especially when it’s like, that is prime party time, I guess like in the states the equivalent of 21. Like I know for myself, I never
telling me to get sober at 21 was a death sentence. And I never would have been able to do it at that time and nonetheless, I mean, I was still drinking at 19 also, so I can definitely relate and understand those feelings that everyone around you is probably saying like, this is crazy because that’s I was the other people that saw silver people at that age, thinking you are an insane human Why would you Why would you stop doing that but so you had health issues and that brought to the surface and that was enough of a why for you to just we don’t need to keep doing this. This is not beneficial in my life. Yeah, absolutely. And it’s funny because I also really, really stuck with that so much because the ball was already in my mind is like do I really want to create
Keep drinking like I definitely had fun but it just never something off or something. I was kind of starting to come to, maybe you’re kind of numbing some stuff, maybe you’re not dealing with, you know, your parents divorced, different things like that. But then with the help when the health problems came up, it was really a huge wake-up call. My family has, um, I grew up with a mom who was very sick all the time. She was always in the hospital, my little brothers had nine heart surgery. So for me, seeing my little brother who had had his first starting Brutus, four months old, that was not his choice. Drinking was my choice. Making my liver worse was my choice. So I went, I’m being a pretty selfless person, selfish person, if I’ve seen my family grow up with whole health problems they never ever asked for. And I’m choosing to drink so I went, you know what, I think that I should take better care of myself. And if that means stopping drinking, then that’s absolutely what I need to do. So what got you from where you were at while you were drinking and then you’re sober.
How did you transition into the financial coaching space?
Yeah, so that’s definitely a long story. I’m going to try and keep it short. But basically our family grew up, we didn’t have a lot. And I always knew from a young age, I need to be the person in charge of my financial future, and I didn’t want to rely on someone else. So growing up, I always thought you just get a good-paying job. That’s what my dad always told me. So I went in to be a power engineer. I went to school for that. I worked as a power here for four years. I really, really loved what I did. It was shift work, made it really difficult, but the whole entire time so I was earning six figures. I had no debt. I was managing it super well. I had six figures in the bank. But at that point, so that was in my early to mid-20s. I hadn’t the most anxiety I ever had around money. It was crazy because I was so worried about losing everything I built up and going back to living with really not a lot. I also came into the workforce in 2008. So that was, you know, during the prime of recession. And I think a lot of people I worked with lose a lot of what they spent their entire life looking towards. So that fear was the back of my mind. But I never told anyone I was scared because I was doing well financially didn’t have that. And I made a lot more money than most of the people I knew. So I was really just scared of my family saying, This isn’t your head. We wish we had your problems. So I just didn’t say anything. And for me, it came out as really high anxiety. And then my coping mechanism then turned with me turning to food, so then it was binge eating. And I got really, really sick. And so I went back to school for holistic nutrition. I thought I wanted to help people through these health problems that I was going through. And while I was waiting till everything came together, everything came full circle when I realized most of the reason that I was having these health problems was just due to the high amount of stress from not saying anything from just keeping it in and just felt like I was battling something from the inside out. It felt like I was constant work myself all day. Whenever
realized, okay, if this is what I was going through as a six-figure earner with no debt and managing my money well, what about all the other people who aren’t really sure what they’re doing with their money, people who are actually struggling financially, it has to be so much worse for them than what I was going through because I was not living paycheck to paycheck. And that’s when I realized there was nobody helping people, especially in this demographic. And there was nobody talking about the money back then. Because that was about four years ago, it was a very taboo topic. And I realized that I needed to be vulnerable, share my story, and let people realize that it does not matter what your financial situation is, you absolutely can open up about it. You’re allowed to feel however you feel and then we’ll take you from there and help you look, put some tangible things in place to really help to manage your finances, but then also on the emotional side of how you feel about that as well. And I just have seen, there was nobody helping anyone doing that like there’s financial advisors, where people are
When they think they have enough disposable income to put towards investments, and there’s a huge group of people that nobody’s really helping them with a day to day and then also talking to them about how they feel, because I felt as a high income earner that I, I felt the shame that I should not be feeling this way I should only feel this way. When it was the way that I grew up and I was living very different lifestyle. Now I was really taking care of everything. But I still really suffered because I had the mindset of how I grew up the management side I did really well I really up level that the mindset I really needed to work on my mindset around money, and that’s when I went I absolutely need help these people. I’ve been through all the struggles for a reason. So I know exactly what people are feeling.
And what was your motivation for doing the coaching side of it as opposed to say, getting a CFP or being a financial advisor? Yeah, that’s a great question.
I seen that I was going to have some limitations. If I went ahead and did that I wouldn’t be able to do things quite the way that I wanted to. And I also knew, the way that I spoke about what I had been through was probably a little bit more taboo. If I was with another company, they probably tell me not to share certain things, especially some things. And that was exactly the reason I knew that I needed to share these things because nobody else was talking about them. So that’s where I went, you know. And I also I wanted people to feel like I was giving them non biased information. I was only selling my coaching, there was nothing on the back end of how I was being paid. It was 100% really just helping people get ahead with the budgeting, which a lot of financial advisors, they’re not being paid for that or maybe they’re just actually not quite as skilled in that and that’s absolutely okay. And recognizing that different financial professionals know very different things. And it’s funny because I actually worked a lot of accountants on their personal finances because we are all very, you know,
In our niche, and accounting does something very different than what we do?
Yeah, I’d like the thing to that, um, you know, there’s a saying it’s the stockbroker, he may make sure that he’s not broker than you. And I, I couldn’t agree with you more, though, because when there’s a financial incentive tied behind what you’re recommending to somebody, I mean, take out the fact that it’s like 90% of hedge fund managers don’t beat the s&p 500 index. So you’re spending extra money to look to your bedding. What, how do I phrase this? You are spending more money to statistically do worse. And it’s so easy to package it too because most people don’t understand compound interest. So if say the financial advisor, they’re only charging 1% and someone says, okay, it’s 1%
Who cares, but 1% compounded over 40 years with like, if you put like a $10,000 investment, and you let that you reinvest the dividends, s&p 500 say you make 11% per year, compounded annually 40 years, you’re looking at close to it’s like 1,000,002 million dollars. But like that 1% of fees is like hundreds of thousands of dollars. And most people don’t understand that. And we’re never taught it in the school system, at least not in America does the Canadian school to school system. does it teach about personal finance? Or is it something you just find out once you’re in a hole?
Exactly, as you said, it’s kind of after the fact you’ve learned from one of your hard lessons. I know some schools are starting to bring it in, but it is still so there’s so much work to be done there.
Yeah, and when I sit
Down with clients. I know kind of my day one is budgeting, seeing where it’s going, what’s coming in what’s going out how we can manage this, what that looks like, what is your day one look like? Or during a discovery session for someone that hires you as a coach? Yeah, so we have a two-hour session. And there’s a lot of stuff that happens before that two-hour session. It’s all the prep work, getting all the numbers, making sure the numbers are accurate. A lot of times, No, they aren’t at this point. So I send back a lot of questions at a time, get a really accurate view. So basically, that first session where they are now and I’ve also asked them into questions of what where is it that you want to be like specific, what are the things that are coming up in the pipeline in the next couple of years? But what else do you want to do in your life? And so we’re basically taking that and really comparing, okay, where are you at now? Is there is it a plus at the end of the month? Is it a minus? What do those numbers look like once we take into account so yeah,
You know, we’re looking at this month’s budget, but when I’m working with clients, I’m taking into account the next 12 months what’s coming up for them? And a lot of people aren’t they’re not thinking about those bigger expenses, you know, those trips, different things. We’re factoring those in, right off the bat. So realistically, they can see isn’t an income struggle? Is it that they are really living outside of their means? Are they doing better than they think they are they really worried but things are better, what is all about look like? And it’s really kind of a basically, we’re coming to reality for the first time seeing where everything’s at getting things collected. So it’s basically like, this is the base point. And we’re going to build from here. So that first thing is just like getting everything super solid of where are you actually at right now. I know a lot of information about them at this time. I’ve asked every possible question and then later on from there, then it’s the actual cash flow management of implementing the plan. But that first thing is just, this is where we’re at realistically taking everything into account and its partners coming in a lot of times
There’s one person typically, as you know, that’s probably managing the money a little bit more so than the others seeing the numbers more often. Sometimes it’s that other person going, holy crap, this other person, I see why you’re stressed. Now, this makes sense. So sometimes for couples, it’s them coming together and the one person who’s maybe been trying for a while to really get that other person on board, the other person is a little bit of reality, wake up, check for that, seeing everything all in one place. So really, step one for you is giving the client the awareness of here is the black and white of what you’re going through and taking the emotional side out of it. Because I mean, it’s just like how, I mean, I feel like you’re someone that’s very analytical numbers-driven. So it was like, oh, drinking isn’t healthy. Therefore, I should stop drinking. And there we go, because that makes black and white sense. I’m assuming you’re probably someone that started saving at a young age and it wasn’t
Just all put in your lap, and you’d probably been taught, if you start saving early, it’ll compound over time. And here’s how money will grow as a result of starting young, and I was in that group as well, I was just fortunate enough my parents, my dad was a stockbroker. And my mom was a small business investor. So I had gotten that early on, I taken, I don’t usually give college a ton of credit. But I did take one class in personal finance, where I learned about compound interest in starting retirement early. So I was like the guy who had a Roth open at age 18. And now 14 years later, it’s like, Hey, you know, it’s things like actually growing without like, Good job, Andrew from 14 years ago, like this was a really smart thing, but most people don’t even think about it until they’re in their 40s or 50s. And I mean, it seems smart. Saving to
20 years for retirement, that seems like an adequate amount of time. But in reality, if you’re not starting way, way before that, there’s just so much lost time literally by not compounding the earlier in your life and getting those benefits. So what are some of the bigger expenses that people probably come across? That they’re not really budgeting for on like a monthly basis?
Yeah, so travel is definitely a big one. GIFs and when people think of gifts, we just named a Christmas. But when I go through with my clients before that very first session, I’m asking them, okay, so how much do you think to spend on gifts this year? And I’m breaking it down with probably about nine questions because I’m talking about birthday gifts throughout the year, Mother’s Day gifts, all of the other types of gifts that people don’t realize, and when they see how much they actually spend a year on guest. Most people are pretty much floored and I said
Okay, so that’s why we need to save them on a monthly basis. So Christmas isn’t so stressful for you this year because I want you paying off. I want you to cash flow your Christmas gifts here instead of still six months later trying to pay it off on your credit card closes another one that people forget like even and what I find especially about closes because typically we don’t buy clothes on a regular basis. I know for me, I buy clothes literally like once a year. I hate shopping. And actually it’s kind of funny because a lot of my clients don’t enjoy clothing shopping either. But when we do we buy a whole bunch that day and then I’m done for like a year. So you totally forget that. Yeah, actually, you can buy our clothes or shoes or different things like that, like we have winter up here. So we’ll need things for that. So really, those are three things right there and then anyone who owns a home and doesn’t pay maybe their taxes like in property taxes on a monthly basis like I know we were paying ours on a yearly basis. Well when that comes up, that’s a quite a bit of money at once or your home insurance, anything basically, that you are probably maybe paying once a year that people
It’s not a surprise expense. I hear a lot of people call them a Whammy expense. But we know every single year that those expenses are going to come up. Other ones that I take into account to that are when we own like a car, we know that it’s going to need to be serviced, we know it’s going to probably need to be repaired at some point. So I have my clients saving for those things on a monthly basis. And then also, like, if you were to get into a car accident, I also want you to have money to put towards that deductible. So if something happens, you’re doing okay, because of how I see it is I would much rather have you prepared for 80% of what comes up. And then the other 20% is a whole lot easier to be flexible with. But we need to think about those things in our life that come up like a medical deductible in Canada medical is very different than this state. So when I work with my American clients, let’s say they don’t have health insurance. Well, that’s something very near and dear to my heart because of the health problems in our family. They’re very serious health problems. So I will share my story about the heart, the heart problems in our family. So people understand
You haven’t been through those, you’re not seeing maybe that you need health insurance or to save on a monthly basis to put towards, if you do need to use that deductible. So those are some of those expenses that people don’t really think about even things like paying for your accountant once a year, you know, let’s say for those things a little bit each month, so when those expenses come up, it’s so much easier, you’re not putting them on your credit card. And then also, you’re seeing realistically how much it actually costs to truly to live your life. Because I know when people first come to me and they see what their budget is. They’re like, that’s a lot higher than I expected. And I say for about 90% of people. That’s exactly the responses they give me.
And I’m just curious of your experience. I’ve found that after speaking with family, like that first session, I feel like they usually it’s it’s like the whole gambit of emotions like they come in kind of unsure, kind of scared. And then
30 minutes into it, they start kind of opening up seeing, hey, you know, this isn’t what I thought it was. And I always have a have a joke. In the beginning, I say, How much do you think your life costs each day to live? And then they write down the number and then we come out and it’s, it’s usually half, most people coming into it sitting with a financial coach. So they’ve done a little prep work. It’s not even like it’s off guard. But most people don’t consider those yearly expenses, and they really are constant. So what are some of the tactics that you use to help people save for these? Yeah, so before that first session, I will have all those expenses listed on my spreadsheet. A lot of times, sometimes people will answer them, sometimes they won’t. So that’s where I send the questions back to get further clarification based on their lifestyle. And I will start to so we kind of what we do is for each of those categories, let’s say travel, alas, what are you planning to do in the next 12 months for travel and even
You’re not sure that you would like to do it, what? What would that look like? And then for travel, obviously, that’s going to be a super estimated one right off the bat later on the goal. And we will figure it out more in detail. But right off the bat, we just want an estimate. So for each of those kind of yearly type expenses, we think, what would that look like for the year, and then we divided by 12. And each month, that’s what we want to be saving. So that’s what we work towards. And then what I have my clients do is they open up a separate savings account for each of those. So some of my clients might have six separate savings accounts, I might have nine, it really depends on their lifestyle. And so what I see a lot of times is we only have one savings account, there’s a lot of shame are dipping into it to pay for when these expenses come up. But that’s the thing, when we have these types of savings accounts, we know that these specific savings accounts they’re not going to grow exponentially, because the whole point of them is to use for those expenses that are coming up. And then you can have a separate savings account that let’s say maybe that’s where saving for a house or something you know, for a wedding, different things like that. Those things
savings accounts can continue to grow more so, and these other ones now they don’t feel the shame of dipping into it, which I didn’t realize how impactful that was at first on the emotional side for them. So that’s really helpful. And then things like a vehicle I take into account like up here we need to winter tires on in the winter time, everyone kind of seems to forget about tires or just replacing your tires, oil changes, I’m thinking about their deductible, because it’s really interesting to see when people guess what they would put towards those account is a lot of times really a lot less than what they actually really need to be putting towards it. So it’s really interesting because it’s bridging the gap of their awareness to them like holy cow, you’re right. Or when people own homes, a lot of times I see they don’t put anything for home repairs. And I think if you’re just to do one little project on your home, that’s like 1500 dollars, a lot of times if you want to put a deck on different things like that. So it’s really interesting to see that but basically you putting that money into those savings accounts. You also know exactly how much you have versus what I see.
This accidental overspending when you have one savings account and you’re tapping into it to pay for different things, you don’t really realize you’re usually saving for like seven different things, not one account, there’s no transparency as to how close you are to each goal. So when you have all those accounts separate, you can see, okay, I have $300 for gifs, you also go into the store, subconsciously having a little bit of a budget in mind, because that’s what you have in that account. So it’s really, really helpful. And it’s, for me, it’s crazy to see how my clients completely their mindset, the perspective how it changes, after they start funding those accounts. It’s so cool to see them grow as people and their mindset once they start putting money into their app for them to for the first time to cash mobile’s expenses when they come up, because a lot of times they put travel on credit cards and they’re paying it off a lot later. It is so cool to see the excitement and confidence when they paid for something in cash they’ve never done before.
Yeah, I think a lot
of the finance, it’s kind of it’s similar to diet and exercise. It’s like, we know we need to be saving. We know that we shouldn’t be splurging, but just this once isn’t gonna isn’t going to hurt everything. But the problem is the mindset of just this once if it happens, even once a week. I know for a lot of my clients it was how much money do you spend eating out each week? And it was like, I don’t know, like, Well, let’s think about it is Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and then you know, once
Oh, I guess we spend like $400 a week on eating out and it was like, if you cut that in half, would that be insanely detrimental to your life? And they’re like, No, and I say, well, there’s $10,000 by substituting a meal with the family versus eating out and when you do eat out, it doesn’t all
Always have to be some crazy expense, maybe a cut back, we talked about changing from a Ruth’s Chris to an Outback, like you still get the experience? Yes, it’s not the top of the top, but at the same time, you’re accomplishing 90% of the experience at half the cost. And that can help you keep above water with your cash flow. So do you have any apps that you get your clients signed up with? Or is this Excel spreadsheets? What does that look like for you? So at the beginning of my coaching, I was using a online app. And then I changed to an Excel spreadsheet because what I found was, I was able to be a lot more proactive with my clients and actually planning out their future versus when were you when we were using a budget budgeting software. What I found was, it was a little bit more transaction airy, it was a little bit more reactive. And I was like, You know what, I’m not quite getting the results that I want to see with my clients. So that’s where we switch to the spreadsheet.
I’m very, very happy with that. And it’s going to take a lot to change my mind to go to something else.
That’s interesting. I like that. I had never really thought about that. But you’re absolutely right when, when there are the apps, it’s, it is telling you after the fact, after the problem has already happened, hey, by the way, we blew it.
Sorry.
Now we’re in the same situation. So your approach is very, very proactive, as opposed to reactive. I think that’s incredible, and that you’re getting great results for your clients. So obviously, something’s working. So you have the ability to,
to, I guess, spot the trends of things like with your sobriety, you knew it wasn’t good for your health, with finances. You kind of had that feeling on the inside, but what are some ways that you kind of get past
The self talk and the negative self talk, I’m guessing you probably still run into that, despite where you’re at what are some of the tools or tactics that you use to get past the negative self talk on be at sobriety or with your financial situation?
Absolutely. So something that works really well for me, and I’ll be honest, I was so resistant at first. So this especially helped me for the anxiety around money, which in turn actually did improve my financial situation because when I had the anxiety around money, I went and ate and then that was, like you said, both eating out? Well, that’s one of the biggest things I work with my clients. Because that is such a, I see it so commonly, but that was also my struggle to was when the anxiety hit, I went and I would eat a whole bunch of carbs. And my my eating out was significantly higher. So when I was able to work through that anxiety, I was also able to really save a lot more money, but for me, it was journaling. And I was working with a coach and she kept telling me to journal I have no idea how to start journaling. I
I had no clue and I’m a very as you can tell like I’m an A type personality. I’m a recovering perfectionist. So I felt like I pretty much needed to know ahead of time what was going to happen when I journal. And when I finally journaled for the first time, it felt like I lost like 30 pounds, I started writing and all these thoughts just came out and just me giving light to them was huge for me. And I was always scared you know, someone read this different things like that. Totally just heard it afterwards, like very carefully, obviously. But if you’re scared of someone else finding out about something, but you you need to get the thoughts out of your body. You need like journal, do whatever it is that makes you feel the best. Like I’m also someone who will talk to myself, that’s my personality type. So I’ll go on a walk nature I found is huge for me for really, really helpful. So the one to walk and I will just say I just need to process things. I just need to talk it out loud. So that’s been really helpful for me. I did also see a counselor that was also really good. I found it was really difficult. I always had to be the strongest one in my family.
So for me actually putting a voice to my feelings has been something I’ve really struggled with, and something that I’ve had to work really hard on. So it was at first me going to counselor, it was me writing a letter of me reading off that letter to the people I loved because I couldn’t just I was always scared of how someone else would think, or how someone else would feel if I was really honest. So really figure out whatever works best for you. But I find journaling is like a really low barrier to entry. Because if you’re scared to talk to someone about something, you don’t have to say anything to them, you can just get those thoughts out. And once I started to get them down, it was really neat to see how the power was lost them. I was scared that by putting them down, it was going to make them have more of an impact on me, and it actually had such a less impact. So sometimes, like even two days ago, I wrote a whole bunch of stuff down and then I burned it and it was just not released that I needed. And it was really, really helpful. And it’s also remembering to do this on a continuous basis because no matter where we’re at, we still need to keep working on our mindset.
Next level, you know, we have different mindset struggles that it is we’re working through. So just start seeing what works for you. I know journaling is been instrumental for me as well as meditation. How I meditate is different. I can’t just sit in silence. That’s not really me. So I do guided meditations and they’ve been really, really helpful to work on the stress management side. So I’d say there’s kind of two pieces there is first, like having the awareness of why do you truly feel that way? Or where those thoughts coming from and really addressing like, what’s at the bottom of that? So whether that’s talking to someone about your finances, different things, like what is the root stressor, but then also stress management? So I think they go there’s, there’s there are two aspects that need to work on both of them is managing the stress, but then also really addressing it, which sometimes can be super messy and feel uncomfortable, and it can feel like a disaster at first but holy, is it beautiful on the other side of that.
That’s such a great insight. And I’m curious, do you have any
Any books that have helped you as far as being a financial coach or books that you recommend to your clients for resources on how to self manage if maybe they weren’t the right fit? Or for people that are your clients that want to learn more on their own? Do you have one or two books that that are your go Tues. So there’s a couple of money mindset books that I really liked for people who are struggling around the mindset side of things. I do have a lot of people that asked me like, Well, how do you achieve this without sacrificing and that’s a very long conversation to have. So sometimes I say like work on your mindset, because when you’re already focusing on the fact that you think you’re going to be sacrificing, it’s going to be difficult because that’s already what you’re focusing on. So there’s a few different books there’s one called Get Rich Lucky Bitch. So that’s one that I really liked. That was really helpful. That’s definitely a more spiritual book for sure. When it comes to actually managing your finances for women, there’s another one and it’s
by Nicole Lapin la PIN and the name of the book is escaping me right now. I really like that one specifically for women because it’s actually a little bit more entertaining too. So it’s not a really, really dry read. It’s more entertaining, but she is really giving you actual practical steps and she talks about how things were a little bit of a disaster for her. That’s why that she dove into finances so I really like how she teaches it. And oh, the name was there and now it has escaped me is it? Well, I just did a quick Google search. I see rich bitch. Becoming super woman. Boss. rich, rich bitch. Alright, so so you have an affinity for the bitch books.
Get Rich Lucky Bitch and rich book rich bitch. Yes.
That’s great. Do you have any other bits and recommendations? I would say start with those couple of books and
I also one of the books that I was introduced to the personal finance side, and really also just expanding my mindset because I came from a small town. My parents had a very narrow mindset when it came to money was the Rich Dad Poor Dad. So that was one of the ones I think I started with, I’m gonna say was about 16 or 17. That was really helpful just to see that there are actually very different ways to earn money. And I always knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur from a very young age, I’d started my first business at 11 and my second one at 14. But as I got older, I wasn’t really sure what that looked like as a full time thing. So I really liked that book just to honestly expand and see there’s so many different ways for personal finance. And I really love that one for that.
And I know the the idea on Rich Dad, Poor Dad, one of the things that I always ask people that are in the finance industry, what are your views on getting a mortgage paying it down? future value of money, what’s your view on that?
As an asset or liability what’s what’s your take on that?
So I think when it comes to being a homeowner, there’s so much more research that people need to be doing before ever buying their first home. Because I’m a person who’s bought a home and because I’ve sold a home, so I’ve seen both sides there. I think that the day and age that we live in as considering a home as an asset for me personally, I don’t agree with that as much. I also a lot of people think, Okay, once it’s paid off, and that’s it, and it’s like, No, you still have a lot of expenses, like I know where we lived on the property taxes for our home were very high. And I thought, jeez, even when we get our home paid off, we still have a lot of expenses from this home. So a lot of people that think nowadays, it really depends where you’re at. I think that there’s a lot more work that needs to go behind. But I do see homes as being a liability unless you are renting out rooms unless you actually truly do have cash flow coming in from it. So really seeing that perspective and I know
That’s one of the things that I see a lot is a lot of people who are host for because they, the way that they were approved for their mortgage, there’s some people that I went, Oh my gosh, I have no idea how you were approved for this or for the second home. And they really how I look at it is you need to take into account everything you need to take into account the mortgage, property taxes, your insurance, utilities, see how much comes to and if that’s over 33% of your living expenses. It’s going to make your life feel really stressful because you have such high fixed expenses. That unless you start to earn more, it’s going to be really difficult in a lot of other areas of your life. So I do truly see home ownership as a liability unless you’re actually getting cash flow off. Now that’s just my personal opinion. Yeah, there’s a million different views on it. But it’s always interesting to hear the perspective from somebody that’s in the day to day and I have a friend who recently purchased a house you know, he was told the American dream and he makes good money.
Money. So it was the next logical move, he’s not going to waste money or quotes on rent. And he’s spent, I think $10,000 in six months on just AC repairs. So it’s like, all right, you know, you’ve got this, this asset and, and I don’t believe they put down 20% either. So they’re now instead of wasting money on rent, they’re wasting money on PMI, and all these all these different aspects and you’re right, it’s not cash flow positive, like the houses that I own. I have them rented out, and I’ve got renters paying for everything. So I have an appreciating asset. And yes, the costs that are associated with it are paid by the people who are living there. And we do have a mortgage on our house but I had made the the exact point that you had brought up with my first house, we
You own it outright, but I still have to pay. It’s like five $6,000 a year in property taxes. And if I don’t pay that my house gets taken away from me. So I don’t even own the thing that we’ve been sold on the idea of, wow, I get to own my house outright, except for I don’t, I still have payments that have to be made. And so there’s no difference between that and renting other than Okay, if I want to put an addition on the house, I need to ask permission, but if you live in an HOA, you have to do that. Anyway. So there’s just so many ways that disprove that house is an asset because it’s a lot of ways a money pit, unless you’re renting it out. Or if you’re Airbnb being like spare rooms or something like you can make cash flow from it, but 99% of people don’t do that, that they live in their liability.
That’s been told is an asset. And, again, no one’s really educated on this stuff. It’s just like, well, I’m in my 30s. And I make money, time to own a house because that’s what I was told. But the people who are renting that want to own a house that they’re excited to, I’m going to be a homeowner. But the difference of being the homeowner versus a renter is really, it’s not much different and you’re stuck. If you want to get out in the markets tanked, that you’ve lost money. So there’s not even it doesn’t always appreciate it’s there’s so many different myths that are associated with it. And I love that Rich Dad, Poor Dad really lays it out. And when that came out, Kiyosaki was under a lot of scrutiny. They’re saying How dare you say the house is a liability. It is an asset. It is the American dream and then the market tanked. The housing market and
And then everyone’s like, you were so right.
But it’s crazy because even though the facts are there, we’ve just been sold on this idea that the American Dream on a house, or is it the Canadian dream as well? It really is. And even if you would ask them this question five years ago, I would have a different opinion, but going through owning and selling, and it wasn’t even like we were living in a home that was outside of our means. But just seeing once everything, you know, at the end of the month, how much you truly are paying for everything. It really is. I used to think renting was throwing your money, wait, because that’s what we’re told. So I just truly believe that will come out on the other side. I’m like, you know what, you really have to compare really, really well to see what is the best for you. But then also, a lot of people are just thinking of right now, they’re not thinking like that they actually hate their job and they want to change it. Well, it’s going to that’s going to bring up a lot more stress for you. If you want to change or if you want to become an entrepreneur later on. You probably want to have some
more flexibility. And you probably don’t want your your money put into your house at that time because you have to pull it out. Also, just because I’ve been through a couple of different times in the housing market being down and in Canada right now, our housing market isn’t in the best place right now. So when I’m seeing it right now, I do see a lot of people who are stuck in their homes and the stress that they feel because of that.
It’s very, very interesting, and I like to hear other people’s perspective on it. But Mandyy, in wrapping up, where can people learn more about your coaching services? Where can they find you online and will link all these in the show notes? Sure, so you can check me out on my website at Mandyy thomas.com. Mandyy is with two wives. And I do most of my information that I share is on Instagram. I like to share a lot on Instagram story. So that’s Mandyy Thomas with two wives. And I would love for the person listening. If you would just send both of us a message on Instagram just to say what your biggest takeaway was. I would
be so excited to hear that.
Absolutely. And for those that aren’t following the show yet at selfmadesober on Instagram facebook.com/selfmadesober. And if you enjoyed the episode really appreciate a rating on iTunes and be sure to follow Mandyy reach out to her. And it was so great having you on the show Mandyy and thanks for being on. Thank you so much for having me.

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