I am a Life Transformation Coach, Addiction Recovery Specialist and Lifestyle Entrepreneur. I impact and transform people’s lives daily through my podcast, thriving Facebook communities and coaching platforms.
I am also a recovered alcoholic in long term sobriety, and as a recovering alcoholic, I understand the challenges associated with maintaining sobriety.
Since becoming sober 15 years ago, I have made it my mission to teach people how to break the chains of addiction and to live their best life possible. In my life, I have not only struggled with addiction, I have struggled with my career, marriage, family, relationships, and in business. Life continued to deliver lemons to my door, and I continued to make lemonade.
What that means for you is that as a Life Coach, I have 25 years of life experience to guide you with.
With me today is the life transformation coach Addiction Recovery specialist lifestyle entrepreneur, Omar Pinto. You can hear him on the recovery revolution podcast. It was the share and the acronym. Yeah to share a podcast is spelled sh er, and it stood for sharing helps addicts in recovery very niched. Right. And many cases it was some people, especially if they were in sobriety, took offense to the fact that I was sharing helps addicts in recovery, right. And so that’s part of one of the reasons why I changed it to the recovery revolution. Because even that dialogue, even that conversation, even that language, as far as the difference between sober and clean, drives me bananas. So I was like recovery revolution. And what’s your interpretation of sober versus clean?
There is no difference. It’s just about what your representation of it what it means to you. What does cleaning mean to you? What does sober mean to you, but to attach some sort of negative connotation to one or the other is counterintuitive.
It’s a really good insight. I know a lot of people will argue, well, you’re only sober if you fit in this box. But one of the things I’ve discovered a lot from the podcast and just interviewing a ton of different people that have a ton of different perspectives coming into it, I was very much 12 step, read the big book, follow this and the more and more I do this, and the more and more I talked to people, when I talk to them with an open mind and an open perspective, I mean, there’s a million different ways that you can get sober and there’s no such thing as just a it’s right or wrong because you can’t argue the guy who’s got 20 years and loves his life, but says 12 steps, don’t want
And he’s doing his own thing. Like, you can’t argue that and the argument is, well, you’re not happy. And he’s like, Yes, I am like, no, you’re not nice. Well, I mean, it’s very interesting that the conversation of sober versus in recovery and all these different perspectives, and ultimately, I mean, its language. All of it is language. Do you use drugs and alcohol? No. And then all of a sudden, I create language around all of it. Some of its empowering some of its disempowering. And so if I were to walk up to you and say, Well, that’s a nice set of tomatoes that you have there. And you’re like, No, dude, it’s tomatoes. No, their tomatoes. Right? And we get into an argument
about something that means nothing. It means absolutely nothing, right? If Have you had a drink in 10 years? No. Okay, so then you’re sober. No, I’m clean. Here’s the thing. I’m not going to get into that conversation.
anymore I’ve I have, as a matter of fact, when I celebrated 10 years clean and sober. This before the podcast was even conceived or thought of before the share podcast was even an idea. I just celebrated 10 years clean and sober. And I posted that on one of these Facebook groups before I had my facebook group.
And so, and I posted on there and I said, Guys, I’m so grateful. I just celebrated 10 years clean and sober. And somebody immediately writes in there No, we don’t use the word sober in here. And I was like, Well, you know, identify with both with both fellowships, right? Yeah, but we don’t say so. Brynn here, okay. We refer to it as clean. Right? And so, we got into this battle on a Facebook group on this post that went on and then and here’s the thing. If you post something positive in a group, it’ll get you know, maybe 10 likes
In two posts, right, you post something controversial.
And it’s going to get 200, likes, dislikes, shocks, whatever 60 posts, all going back and forth. People are looking for an excuse to fight man, people are looking for an excuse to argue to unload their anger, bitterness and resentment for so many things. And part of that has to do with the fact that when you are indoctrinated into dogma, or into a dogmatic sort of belief system, which is like religion, which is like politics, and now like 12 steps, this is the only way and you follow it by speaking only this language. And if you introduce any other language, it will not work.
And so I got into this heated battle with the guy, he ended up kicking me out of the group. And I told my wife about it, and she looks at me and goes, Wow, what an amazing way to celebrate your 10 years.
You know, acting like a six year old, you know, and it’s like, then but here’s that’s that’s the beauty of like what I do now, NLP which is neuro linguistic programming her language what she said to me broke through
I was caught up in my own story
of injustice of intolerance of wrongdoing
and all she said was wow what an amazing way to celebrate your 10 year anniversary acting like a six year old and immediately a broke that pattern broke me out of my state. And I went, oh my god.
Like all these years 10 years been clean and sober. However I want to describe that and I’m diverting back, I’m regressing back into old behavior, right just because of what someone else said to me. And that’s when really what
We’re talking about now that’s that’s where the recovery revolution started. Like that whole, the name the recovery revolution started from those moments that I faced in recovery. When you’re going through all this, and your wife says that to you what’s going on in your head? Are you kind of combative, or here’s the funny thing. Okay, thank God, I had 10 years. Okay? Because there’s the first voice that comes in.
That says, You have no idea what you’re talking about. That’s the first voice that comes in. Then there’s a second voice that’s been around now for 10 years. And says to she, so right here acting like an ass. Wow, dude, seriously? What are you doing? If there’s anything I learned from marriage, it’s that she’s always right. Right, right. What? It’s so it happens fast. It happens fast. The processing happens quickly depending on where you’re at in your own work.
covering your own evolution, you know, mentally, physically, spiritually kind of thing. Right. So I was like, you’re absolutely right. As a matter of fact, I went and PM the guy and made amends. You know, was it for him? Absolutely not.
Okay, it was for me, I needed to let that go. I was holding on to it. As soon as I made the amends, it was gone. Right. I made the amends, it was gone. And, but that’s when I decided that there’s got to be other people like me out there.
There’s got to be other people around me that are sick and tired of listening to the same old rhetoric and try to discuss anything different with someone who isn’t a big book Thumper or an NA Nazi. That’s like walking into a Catholic church with the Qur’an. You know, I mean, like, you’re just looking for a fight. And I was like, I don’t I don’t want to fight. But I’d like to open up a discussion about recovery that
involves any and all pathways of recovery and you know mindsets about recovery. Any, any and all success stories, you know, what have other people done to find sobriety? Was it through 12 steps? Was it through something else? And what are the feelings associated with that? Because in many cases, what’s holding you in place in any place, whether it’s 12 step fellowship, a marriage, friendship, you know, is guilt, fear and obligation? And that’s what’s holding me and if I ask somebody, why are you still here? Why are you in this marriage? You know, wow, you know, at the end of the day, many of the emotions that are going to surface are going to be guilt, fear, and obligation, guilt, I’m afraid I’m going to hurt their feelings. Fear, I have no idea what it’s going to be like, you know, outside of this marriage, what’s my life going to be like? Is it better to be with the devil? I know over the verses of the devil I don’t or obligation in the sense like, you know, we’ve got all this time invested and we’ve got these kids and you know,
No, it’s like, I feel like I should stay here. Right? None of that is this is my purpose. I’m super excited to be here. It’s the I’m so in love with this person. You know, I’ve I’ve I love my career more than I have when I first started those when those things don’t surface then you recognize that someone is as caught up in those negative emotions. And with recognizing that how did you get into coaching and helping other people identify patterns like that and help them break through
it because I was so angry. I mean, that was that was really a lot of a lot of what was driving me a lot of what was what I was soothing myself for. A lot of what my alcohol and drug abuse was, was soothing myself from anger, bitterness, resentment, rage. I was a kid that was picked on bullied made fun of so I was shy and introverted.
And kind of like, recluse, tried to go unnoticed. Because I was afraid I was afraid of confrontation, I was afraid of getting beat up happened a few times, and I was terrified of it right. So I hid and I tried to go and notice, but inside of me was a lot of anger because of it. You know, I hated going to school I hated the other kids. I hated myself. Why did it have to be this way? Why did I couldn’t meet. My mother was very religious mothers Jehovah’s Witness, so huge, dogmatic presence in my life when it comes to how I was raised, no Christmas, no birthdays, no holidays, no hanging out with friends that weren’t in the same religion or the same fellowship. So there was these constant rules that I had to abide by and I was just pissed off and angry. And every time I did something that I wasn’t supposed to do, and when we’re talking about supposed to do is based on what somebody else is belief system. So there’s
Somebody else’s belief system that has now infringed on my freedom. Okay, and now it’s telling me that know what you believe is wrong what I believe is right. And if you do what you want to do, you’re wrong and you’re going to be punished for it. That’s basically how my, how I grew up, right. So just angry, angry, angry. So it’s like, what’s the point? Seriously, what’s the point? soon as you start drinking as soon as I started drinking, I could care less. I could care less about the rules, right, wrong. And and what I what I recognize many years later, was that what I did not feel when I was drinking was guilt.
That was the thing. guilt, fear, shame, obligation. Soon as I drank, I could care less. I don’t care what my mother thinks. I don’t care what my father thinks. I don’t care what other people think. It’s not important to me. You know what’s important to me right now. Another beer. You know what’s important to me, that hot looking girl over there. You know what’s important to me. What I
And so there was that huge giant shift and emotional state just by introducing a substance. And so man, this is this is amazing. Now of course, I can explain this to you now because I’m a coach and because of the coaching that I received, and understanding how the mind programs itself
and so I just was on autopilot. Oh, drinking good. Not drinking bad. That was it. I mean very simple, right? Lots of like a simple. So 10 years later, like I said, in recovery, when I started to, you know, recognize it, you know what, there’s got to be something else because I’m over this 12 step stuff, right? I’m tired of this. There’s gotta be something more. And I started delving into personal development. The first step was to join a mastermind, so kind of like a business mastermind to figure out what I was going to do with my business. And then at some point, I went to an NFL
P workshop and LP stands for neuro linguistic programming.
And I went to an NLP workshop and I said this is the most amazing system I’ve ever seen in my life. It was the most incredible coaching platform I’ve ever seen. It was fast, effective, and went right into releasing negative emotions, right that was part of part of the workshop. neuro linguistic programming neuro means brain linguistic language programming is just the map of the world. How I am program currently to see the world. Once I started doing the work I recognize that went back in time and I was like, Oh my God, that’s why I drank. Oh, that’s why I got into the fight with the guy. 10 years clean and sober. Right? I felt attacked. And I was always an angry kid that didn’t like to be bullied. So anytime. I felt like I was being bullied there came a point where I could bully back
And so whenever I would feel that because all that is a trigger, you get triggered. That’s why people drink, right? They don’t even know you got five different senses. Okay, you can hear, you can taste you can touch you can feel, or you have all these things that happened to you at any given moment you walk into a strange situation a different restaurant, okay, I’ll Park. Okay, a social setting that you don’t know anything. And any one of your five senses can trigger an emotional event that happened to you 10 years ago, 20 years ago, 40 years ago, and you’re right back in there emotionally. And all of a sudden, you’re like, I have no idea why I feel so anxious and uncomfortable in here. Right? So you kind of walk around not, you know, like a loaded gun, and many in many situations, right. So that was the beauty of me learning coaching strategies, right? It’s because what it is, is that things have that and as
The simplest core somewhere between the ages of five and 20, something happened to you a traumatic event of some sort. And that traumatic event created an emotional state or various emotional states. And from there a story emerges.
From that story becomes a belief system. Alright if I choose or decide to believe it, okay? That’s when a limiting belief comes in a limiting belief comes from a limiting decision. Okay, so when I was a kid, I got picked on I got bullied and beat up. Right. So that was a traumatic event from that a traumatic event. The emotions were fear, I feel weak, scared and small. Right. The story is, you’re you’re a weakling, you’re a policy. You can’t defend yourself. You can’t stand up for yourself, okay, you better try you. You need to run away from all Ernie and all confrontations right. And so this
is basically, for some people for for all of us really, right? A root cause event that just plagues us for the rest of our lives. And for many of us, the only way to sue that is through alcohol and drugs. How do you change how you’re looking at the world, when you’ve had it ingrained in you for years and years and years of this is the map of the world. This is how I see things. And then I know people will use that confirmation bias, like we’ll see. And some of my companies with salesman, they’ll have a mentality of I’m unstoppable. I’m unstoppable. And they’ll be getting sales after sales after sales. And then the exact opposite will happen. They’ll, I’m in a funk, I’m in a funk, I’m in a funk and everything that substantiates that claim that customer didn’t purchase. Therefore, I’m in a slump they’ll look away from this customer did purchase you’re not in a slump. Well, that doesn’t fit
model. So this is the excuse for why that doesn’t fit my model. So how do you retrain your brain to see the world in a different light? That’s a great example. That’s a great example because it’s quick. Right? It goes, it can go from one day to the next. Sales is like a roller coaster.
Okay, and you’ve got guys that are rock star in and out, and they’re just crushing it. And then they go on a slump. Okay, and then it’s like, How long before they get back on track? So there’s your focus. There’s your language, there’s your physiology, and there’s your state.
So here’s what happens. guy makes a few sales, right, especially when they’re new. Right? If a guy comes in and he makes a few sales, what’s the story he tells himself? I’m great at sales.
Not only am I great in sales, I’m the greatest human being on the planet.
Literally happened yesterday with our new employees. She got her first sale. And then she got her second. So she’s she’s been with us for weeks. And then we’re going to manage your meeting, the training manager says, Look, just read the script verbatim while I’m gone. And then we come back and she has two sales. And it’s like that’s, you get the confidence from the one. And then your entire map changes. But how do you get the confidence from the one Do you have some experience and suggestions on how to get how to get your win? The thing is, success leaves clues. So I just have to retrace my steps. I got to go back to the moments where I’m successful. So there she is, right. I just made two sales. I’m the greatest salesman in the world. I’m unstoppable. I’m incredible, right? There’s a story because I made two sales. I’m the greatest salesperson in the world. Tomorrow, I come in, I get on the call. Same confidence, same pitch, same conviction, right. I’m ready.
What am I focusing on getting this sale? Okay, what’s my language? My language is clear, confident, concise. Okay, what’s my physiology? I’m up, right? I’m confident, crushing it. Right? What’s my state? Absolute utter focus and confidence. Right? So there it is. There’s your triangle for the unstoppable salesperson, right? And this is somebody who has no training experience or very, very not has training experience, but they’re brand new. So they’ve experienced what we call Beginner’s luck, right? Next day, she comes in all the same, all the elements are the same and get a no not interested.
Oh, okay. Huh,
huh? Okay. All right. Well, that’s cool. That’s cool. I’m just going to call another one. No, thank you. So now I get to nose in a row.
new story evolves.
Maybe I’m not the great
a salesman in the world.
Maybe that pitch, they told me to do it that way, but
maybe there’s something wrong with it. I knew that word right here. That that’s never going to work right now. I’m not going to change this now. Right. And so now I go from focusing on, I’m going to get this sale to
God, I hope they don’t get another. No, I really hope I get the sale right now.
I’m going to change this part of the script right here. I don’t know if I’m ready to make that call just yet. Right.
My focus has changed. My language has changed. My physiology is changed, my status changed. I went from unstoppable to questionable.
Okay, so now, if I can just, if I can just recognize, hey, there’s two possibilities here. All right. There’s two possibilities. However, you had success over here. You had failure over here.
What do we have to do? We have to remember that there was a process that works.
And that in most cases, salesmen are going to get nine nose. For one, yes.
So if you got two yeses yesterday, you got 18 knows ahead of you before you get to the next one. Yes.
So now if that’s my new focus,
my new focus becomes Oh, oh, wait a minute. That makes sense. Okay, so number three, no, all right. I’ve only got 15 more knows to go.
It’s communication. I have to sell myself first. Everything is about selling myself first. So if it makes sense, because the sales manager came in, and it made sense to you that it takes nine knows to get one. Yes. You’ve already gotten your
yeses, which means you’ve got 18 more nose to go. And if you get another yes in the middle, then you better do a celebration because that’s just almost unbelievably unheard of. Right? You’re in the best. That’s, you know, 20% success. You’re in the top, elite 10% of sales professionals in the world. All of a sudden, my focus changes from being a failure because I got to nose to I am 15 nose away from success. And so just that self talk alone plays a giant role in how people perceive the world is building in that buffer of understanding failure and having an explanation for it. Is it just most people, they experience failure and instead of having that built in to their map, they just, they just say, well, this maps broken and I just need a different map. That’s just how our brain Yes, yes, it’s the lack of resiliency. The lack of resilience
is not taught. resiliency is not taught, okay? failure is not acceptable. bad grades are not acceptable. Okay, striking out is not acceptable. Okay? failure is not embraced. Okay instead of this is this is how we teach you resilience this is this is how it goes my friend, this is how it works. Here the brain needs a reason to believe everything is about belief if you I’m sure you’ve heard this quote, whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.
And so everyone has that same opportunity. Oh, I just can’t seem to get sober No matter how much I try. I can’t get sober.
That’s just I’m just programming myself over and over again. I can’t get sober.
I can’t get sober. And inside the subconscious brain goes, man, this guy does not want to get sober. Okay, we’re not we can’t get sober. All I gotta do is change the language. Man. I am struggling a lot. I want to get sober. I mean I really do. I want to get sober really really bad. I want it. I want it. But man, it’s it’s been difficult. It’s hard. Right and and I’ve been struggling a lot.
There’s nothing in there. That is limiting me from trying something new because I want it.
Okay, I want to make this sale.
What do I gotta do? How do I gotta do it? read the script the way we told you to. You’re going off script. Okay, stand up, smile. You’re slumping over your desk. You’re acting afraid you’re focusing on what you don’t want.
Okay, couple of quick adjustments. It’s just it’s all language. It’s when someone’s giving you direction. It’s language. It’s
No different, I just have to give myself the proper commands.
Right to get into state. I am an incredible salesperson. I’m an incredible salesperson, and I know what it takes to make a sale. How do you handle something where so you’re presented this map of here is how you get sober, be at 12 steps, be it whatever method you’re attempting, and say the person tries it one time, and it doesn’t work out. How does the dialogue change? When that happens when there’s immediate failure when they try something? Well, the first thing I asked them to is, what reasons didn’t it work?
What were the reasons it didn’t work? What was it about it that you didn’t resonate with, that you didn’t connect with? Right? And so they give me all the reasons right. So now I have all that’s all language. You know, that whole God thing? It’s ridiculous. I mean, I’m an atheist, right? I mean, I
16 years clean and sober. And I have heard the god argument more times if I had $1 for every time I heard that argument, right? So there’s patterns, it’s a consistent pattern. If you pay attention to the patterns, you start to recognize how you can help people on a higher level. The resistance here is the God thing. Okay, change the word, take the word out, make it something different. Okay, don’t use it
all but if it’s not in there, but then it’s not going to work. That’s your belief system.
You know, I mean, if you if you believe it’s true, then it is.
Why, if I just changed the word, you know what I mean? Like, I mean, like, I don’t know, like, and then the whole doorknob thing that doesn’t make any sense to me. What does make sense to you?
You know, well, you know, my family does.
You know, like, I care about my family a lot.
That could be a higher purpose. See, once you start taking out
The intensity to and the rigidity of it and become flexible. So we like flexibility. The brain likes flexibility. We like flexibility. So it’s like, I don’t like something. Give me the full reasons why. Right? For what reason? Don’t you like the word God? Right? Oh, God, you know, I was raised in this as a Catholic, and I had to go to church every week at this time, and I had to wear this super uncomfortable suit, not choking as a kid and I hated going all the time. I’m like, okay, where does God fit in all this? Okay, so you went into this place, and it was stuffy and you were a funny outfit that your parents made you were and somebody was talking a language out of a book.
Where does the where does like the God come out of all this? Right and what does he have to do with all this? yc you have to blame and all this? No, well, it’s just this. It’s like okay, so maybe could could there be could
there be a difference between religion and God? Maybe? Could there be a difference between like Catholics and Jews? So all of a sudden, what you do is you take this very rigid
and you throw what ifs at it.
Okay, what it does is it kind of lightens things up, right? And then you start to question, what am I making such a big deal about?
Or am I just looking for something to make a big deal about, so I don’t have to take action.
See, so, all this is when you start throwing what ifs into the equation, and you start asking, you know, so really, let’s go a layer deeper on this for what reason? Are you disagreeing with this or this bothers you? Well, it’s because of this. Okay, so then really, you had a traumatic experience as a child where this event happened, and you create a story. And that story is God is bad
Right? And so now anytime the word God comes up, you immediately direct, you reject the whole process. Meanwhile, there’s 12 steps. There’s 12 opportunities here for growth and change that helped millions of people. But I’m choosing to reject it because of one word.
Wow. Okay, so then what? That’s what I try to do I, we start to kind of just
soften things up, soften things up, allow some, some space and some energy to come in some what ifs. Okay, and so what if we just ignore this for right now?
Let’s focus on what it is that you really want. What is it that you want? Do you want to get sober?
Or do you want to find yet another excuse why you can’t.
are very probing open ended questions that allow people to connect with their subconscious mind. And you just let them sit there.
You come up with the answer. And if it makes sense to you, it will make sense to me. But more importantly, we have to identify what’s holding you back.
And it can’t be the word God because it’s just a little tiny three letter word inside of this literature that’s designed to help you get clean and sober for free. My hesitation in in at first was the whole God thing. I mean, for me, it was, well, I’m smarter than religion. I love the I forget his name, Bill Maher. He did a movie religious where he just basically just dispels any reason to believe in any sort of God and I was just like, Well, I mean,
The whole God idea, it doesn’t really, it doesn’t really add up. And here’s a ton of facts backing up why this is crazy. So I’m on board with you, Omar, it doesn’t,
it doesn’t make any sense. So therefore 12 steps won’t work for me. But the little tweak that bill Wilson put in, in the foundation of all 12 steps is your higher power that you can call God, whatever you want it to be. So it can be karma. It can be the doorknob, it can be anything, so long as it is not you running the show. And with that tiny ounce of willingness, that it doesn’t have to be Jesus God, it doesn’t have to be any sort of belief system that even already exists, is just something that works for you and amorphous
Anything, and then you can go on your way. And I didn’t really believe in it. And my higher power has changed significantly over the past couple years from when I first went in, and I was told you need to pray. And I would lay in bed and say, This is me praying to what my routine looks like now it’s completely transformed. But if I was stuck in the, the label of you were raised Lutheran, these are the rules in order to participate. I would have just thrown the whole thing away because it I don’t want to be told what I believe I don’t want to be told this is how to do things. The whole reason I went to entrepreneurship, is because I don’t want to be told how I’m supposed to be running things. I get to call the shots on my own life and the map that I’ve laid out in the last couple years, it has been I can call the shots and people will
Follow, and it’s going to be mutually beneficial. So my employees who work for me based on the the foundation and systems that I put in place years ago, those people who show up, they’re going to be getting the results they want. They want stability, they want a paycheck, they want to help others. Those are the requirements for working for me and so they get what they want. What I want. I don’t thrive on stability. I love the chaos. I love inventing. I love building. So give me that freedom to choose whatever it is that I want it to be and we can get over that hurdle. That was the huge thing for me because we’re all raised with when you hear God, you think, Christian, you think nails on the cross you think Father, Son, Holy Spirit, and that’s not what any of its about. But people just like you said they’ve been programmed God means
Jesus God means I’m out because I don’t believe in that. But it’s completely different.
Listen, it what you just said there is is. So I mean, like everything I’d already laid out is exactly what I deal with all the time. Right. It’s the rigidity and inflexibility that, because we have to all recognize that the programming has already been laid in. For all of us, the programming is there, the word, the word, God comes up, I’m triggered, the word religion comes up, I’m triggered.
We know this. We have to recognize this and if we choose to ignore that, then we just continue to push people out the door. Well, you have to you have to have a higher power. We have to believe in God and actually in all in all in all fairness, when people come to me for coaching, the last thing we discuss is steps we do knows I don’t do any step work whatsoever. We
I don’t do any traditional sort of recovery pathway, I focus on emotional healing. Right? That’s what I do. I mean, once once the root cause issues are resolved, then all of a sudden, I don’t have a need to soothe anymore. Okay, so if my root cause issue is that I was picked on and bullied as a kid, right? And I feel intimidated, weak, small, right when I’m not drinking,
then me going into a 12 step fellowship to learn how not to drink is not going to prevent me from you know, still being afraid out in the world. Like there’s something still where it’s like, Okay, well, I was in Okay, great. So I feel good about not drinking and using and chances are if I’m in a fellowship, I’m now hanging out with people in recovery. So it’s it creates that safety net. Right? But God forbid I’m at a work event because this is where the relapse has happened. I was at a work event.
We were in Vegas, everybody was drinking. You know, there was some peer pressure. And next thing you know, I am drinking, but what’s really I’m triggered is my childhood about being uncomfortable around people that I don’t know. And there’s potential danger. That’s all I know. That’s what’s being triggered emotionally. Fear. I am afraid. What did I used to do before drink? liquid courage now everything’s fine.
Till you wake up the next day, you don’t remember what happened? You’re outside, you know, in the kiddie pool. You know what I mean? arrested, right? Like, there’s that. All the consequences aside, but the truth of the matter is, until I recognize that it’s like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Okay. So that’s what was going on. Alright. So now let’s look at that story. What is the story because of this little event that happened, right, because of this little event that happen
When I was eight years old, I was picked on. I was bullied. I was punched in the stomach. The kid one I lost. Okay. So 48 year old Omar. Right? Let’s say that. Let’s just go back in time. Let’s just float back in time to that event. Okay, so let’s get to that event right now you’re on the playground. And you’re looking down. Right? And you see these two kids on a playground fighting. You’re one of those kids. Right. And you see the situation happening. Right?
If you could be there right now, right?
What does what does eight year old Omar need? Right? Like what would you do differently? Now? If you were right there right now? What would you do differently?
Well, first of all, there’s no way I would have walked up to that kid, right? He’s bigger than me. All right. I’ve never I’ve never been enough.
Fight. I have no idea how to defend myself. Okay, so I probably want to get some, maybe take some boxing lessons, maybe get some self defense, maybe learn how to communicate better, maybe increase my communication skills maybe if I would have walked up to this kid and said, Hey Look man, my sister just came up to me says you’re picking on her. You know me like, what’s up what’s going on? Oh, well she you know Baba Ba ba ba ba all right well I have a talk with her All right, but hey, how about you know, we agree that you know, it’s you know, I’ll talk to my sister you maybe you can leave her alone, that kind of thing. Maybe Maybe I just need some communication skills. Maybe I need some self defense skills. You know, maybe I don’t need to go and defend my sister in that way. Maybe I could just go to the school maybe protecting and defending my sister just meant I should have gone to the principal and said hey, listen, principal. There’s this kid apparently my sister she said there’s some kid that’s picking on her
Anything we can do here? You know that kind of a thing, right? So all of a sudden, it’s like, wow, there’s these all, there’s all these things that I could have done. Right? And so What about now? What are the things you could do now to make yourself feel better about going out into the world? You know what, I could take a Muay Thai class. You know, I could get into the gym and workout more, right? I could get better at communicating with people, right? Maybe I could read a couple books on How to Win Friends and Influence People. Right? Maybe I could grow, become a little better version of myself so I could be prepared for any situation. Right? And so now all of a sudden, we start to immediately take out this whole I’m the victim, this kid picked on me and bullied. I’m weak, scared and small. into here’s what I would do differently. Here’s what I could have done differently. Here’s how I could have looked at it differently.
you know, I don’t know, the kid was having a bad day.
Maybe my sister, you know, took a sandwich and you know, stepped on it or something. I don’t know, I didn’t ask enough questions. So you see, once you start to interject the what if
and actually what you’re doing is you’re interjecting possible new stories.
As soon as you give a story
that makes enough sense.
It could take the place of the current story, man, you know what, dude, I, you know what I mean? Seriously, what was I thinking? I should have done this. I could have done that. And then what happens is I can do that now. And it immediately almost, you drop off the victim suit and you go into action. I am going to go take a class right now. Shoot, I am
Going to go, you know, start lifting weights, I am going to, you know, whatever.
And that’s really what we want to do. We want to create enough challenging opposing stories, and in many and as much as possible, positive, so positive in the future, right and about yourself, right? I could take a martial arts class, I could learn to communicate better. You know what, I will communicate better. I do communicate better. I will take
a self defense. I will join the gym. I’m going to join the gym right now. And boom, before you know it, the story’s changed.
So when people are changing the story, and they have that moment of clarity, I know for a lot of people when when I’m doing business coaching, will will do a lot of dissection on
We’re struggling in this area. Here’s how we can solve it put a strategy in place. And week one on fire. We have this To Do List knocked it out of the park. Andrew, I’m seeing the results. This is great week to put together this plan. This is great. I’m feeling the effects. I got everything done again. Week Three. Yeah, I did most of it. But I missed this one thing, but yeah, man, I’m on fire. And then, you know, we get to like month three. And we put together the plan for that week. And then they’re like, yeah, I didn’t get around to it. And well, yeah. So how do you keep that fire alive for the motivation to change?
For anything, it’s your why? why you’re doing anything. Okay. So the How is it relevant? And
there’s a there’s a gazillion ways of how you can do something about
How you can get to an objective, right? But why am I doing it? You know, why am I in this new career path? Why did I decide to become an entrepreneur? Why did I launch this business? You know, why did I marry this woman? Why did I decide to have children? You know, why am I in recovery? Why am I you know, what, what is my what is the driving force behind what I’m doing? Right? And so, we’re always going to lose momentum, like you say, you go week one, week two, week three, it’s new, it’s like a new relationship. Okay, I’ll get the results. I get this nice boost of, of dopamine and oxytocin. And you know, I’m working with Andrew for the first time and then oh, my God, it’s, you know, like the stuff that Andrews got going for me. It’s amazing. It’s working. Wow. It’s like, boom. So next week, I’m already it’s just like the sales. Right? My brain is already programmed to believe that Andrew system works. So the next week, it’s like, we’re going to do this. Perfect. Alright, great. Blah, blah, blah, blah. All right, I’m fire. All right, next week. I got all these things done, except for one.
story just changed.
As soon as that story changes, and there’s a negative element that it gets introduced, the momentum drops a few.
I felt that as you were telling the story.
Right, right is that person got to that first obstacle that first challenge the first failure? No, I did all that, you know, I got everything else done, but
I’m going to focus all my energy on this thing that I didn’t do or this thing I failed. It didn’t get done. Right. And then the next one, I didn’t do anything.
snooze story of all this like, man. Well, what if I fail again? Well, what if I fail all of it? Well, what if I just don’t do it? If I just don’t do it, I can’t fail anything.
I’ll just take the whole right. But trust me on this one, I tell you, none of this is conscious.
All of this is subconscious.
Cuz you asked him dude What happened? I don’t know.
Oh, you won’t believe the week I had a show busy. Oh dude like, week just filled up man. Wow. Wow I love the I’m so busy like I run for companies and have a newborn but like, yeah, I get it though you’re you’re busy, right well so what you do is the first thing you have to do Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this
man because you know what I, I want to launch this business because I’m tired of working nine to 999 to five, right 10 to seven, right or or 10 to eight. Okay I’m tired of the two hour commute.
I’m tired of working on weekends. I don’t have time for my family. I don’t have time for myself. I want freedom man like I want time freedom and freedom to spend quality time with my family. I will do
You’re losing your focus, if we’re clear about what you want. Okay, then are you getting closer to getting further away? No, I’m definitely not doing shit. I mean, I’m not I’m definitely not getting closer. Well, you just got to stay clear on what it is that you’re going after you’re going after time freedom. You’re going after quality time with your family. Like this exercise. Nobody likes doing it. Okay, nobody likes making courses. Nobody likes launching a new product. Nobody likes all the work that it takes, right? If it was easy, everyone would be doing it. Everyone would be an entrepreneur. Oh, look how easy this is.
There’s no such thing
as easy. There’s just consistency. It’s all it is one day after what is one action that I can take? And if I fail, what did I learn?
But we have to stay clear on why we’re doing this. So if this if this is the driving force, that we don’t want to lose sight of that. No, you’re right, man. You’re right. No, no, no, that’s what I want you right?
Right, you’re right. All right, let’s scale it back, man. Let’s scale it back. One thing, one thing you want to accomplish in the next week, and then we’ll we’ll we’ll touch base.
And so everything is about, I have to find a way to communicate with myself effectively. That’s all it is. All that what we describe their, how they got pumped up and how they fell off is all language. It’s all communication. I am a rock star. I did everything perfect. I failed. I’m a failure. It happens in an instant by one little event, that little event tail spin into I didn’t do anything. And now I’m like, worse off than before. And then it’s like Andrew shit doesn’t work. spent all this money and none of this works.
Everything’s a story all based on one tiny little event that pivots me in a direction because it created an emotional response.
When I got success, there were social responses, positive, exciting. Confidence. I have a failure, I lose hope. I lose confidence. I lose faith, I lose whatever.
And I get demotivated, I lose my excitement.
You know, I guess I’ll try something else. I think there’s also something to be said for when you have a story. And then other people will tell you that is the correct story. So, just for instance, in my own experience, the company I started it was in my living room. We didn’t do a whole lot for year one. We did 36,000 gross. year two, we did 1.75 million. So there was a giant jump from year one in my living room to year to having 30 employees. So the narrative in my head was, I’m this great entrepreneur. I’m this great business owner. And then I started getting
The affirmation from everybody else, Andrew, we knew you could do it. Andrew, you’re so smart. Andrew, you’re so successful. You’re the next insert famous person. We’re so proud of your end. And that’s,
but I fed into that. And I kept doing the same things that I was doing. And I was getting great results. And we were growing, growing, growing. And then we weren’t growing. And the narrative in my head was, well, what am I doing differently? Am I failing and I, I have the, I have the ability to take an outside perspective on my life and look at it in a very black and white almost robot like way. And I know that most people they hate doing that or just don’t have the capacity to see things and I mean, it’s literally impossible for us to be completely objective and viewing our situations. But I feel that I’m better at it than most
And so I then struggle with, I have recognized this is my truth based on this objective observation. And then I’m rivaled with the outside people that haven’t taken the objective look, and they’re still telling me my story of Andrew, you should go on vacation every other month, you earned it, you deserved it. You don’t have to worry about that company. It’s been turnkey for the last three years. And that was the truth. And that was my narrative. And then things weren’t going as great as they were. And so then I’m not only battling with the internal dialogue of I’m this successful entrepreneur, what’s happening but then I also get the outside from everybody else telling me, Andrew, you’re so smart, you’ll figure it out, which is like one of the things that I absolutely hate because I want to get advice. I want to get suggestions. I want to hear outside perspectives. And then when people give me
their advice, you’re smart, you’ll figure it out. It’s like, I don’t need that answer. I need some. Some other advice. I need someone who’s, that’s actually the best one.
The best advice, you’ll figure it out, you’re smart, you’ll figure it out.
kiddo, instead, I actually instead I see where you know what I’m gonna I’m gonna, yeah, I’m gonna elaborate on it, you know? But it’s like, you’re smart. You’ll figure it out. You were smart. And you figured it out right from the beginning. This is your business, your company. You started it. This is your you’re the brainchild. Okay. It’s when other people come in with you know what, I have got this great idea. And maybe you should do this, right? And now you know what? And then this other person comes in and says, No, no, no, no, no, no, I have this other idea. This is what we should do. This is the way we see that’s a whole different thing. Then you have it in you. The answers are inside Andrew.
Connect with the most authentic version of who you are. Because in there is the answers. They’ve always been there. There were the answers that created the business in the first place. Now, when I start drinking my own Kool Aid, that’s when the problem starts. Okay? I am and will always be a firm believer in the spiritual connection. I believe that everything that I’m doing right now is divinely inspired and guided. And whenever there is some sort of inconsistency or something that is wrong, if I were I don’t even know if I like to use that word, if if something has changed. If something’s different now, if I’m going along and everything’s great, but then all of a sudden, something is changing. What it does is it forces me to look at is this the same direction I should be going? Right? I’ve had great success for this long amount of time.
Could I be doing something different? And if I could be doing something different? What would that be? In other words, what conclusions Have you come up with? What decisions have you made differently? Since you were faced with these challenges, Andrew, in your business, that I mean, there’s been so many I mean, just the entire landscape of the remote IT world. It’s a completely different world than it was five years ago when I got in. It was the exact right moment and I had met the exact right people in had the exact perfect acquisitions. And all these opportunities, they lined up with happy customers and just, there were so many things that were going in our favor that were
A lot of right place right time, there were just there were opportunities that you couldn’t pin on anything other than just something higher than me working in my life. For instance, one of our largest campaigns, if not ever, but definitely at that time, I ran into some guy at Dunkin Donuts in December of the previous year. So this is happening June 2015. And December 2014, I bumped into this guy at dunkin donuts. I was there with a friend. He introduced me Hi, nice to meet you exchange numbers didn’t hear from him for six months. And then I just hit a hit a wall in the company. And I just turned it over. I said there’s got to be something else. That guy that I hadn’t spoke to in six months. gives me the opportunity and now
Looking back on it, it’s like, well, of course it was going to work out because all the pieces were in line and we were doing the right thing. But he says, We’re out of business, I can give you this gigantic opportunity of leads. And I was like, well, this is, this is great. And all, how much do you want for it? And this is where this is where I learned the trick of you ask people what they want, instead of offering them what you want to offer. Because I was going to offer him the total value in my brain was about $300,000 for the entire thing. When I done the math, and I said to myself, if he says any number less than 300,000 I’m in and he said 600 and I was like, Well,
okay, and he’s like, okay, yeah, just write me a check for $600 I was like, Oh 600 600 just
600 dot 00 The End. Okay, so then I was faced with this
is too good to be true. Now I talked myself out of it. And I was like, You know what? Worst case scenario, it doesn’t work out best case scenario completely transforms the business. And the ladders What happened? It paid for itself in like three hours and then was 100% profit on marketing for 678 months, zero dollars in marketing costs it was. But that was just a wonderful opportunity. Higher Power, right place, right time, right? People, everything lined up. And I was riding on that. And it happened like, not in that awesome capacity. But similar situations happened over and over over the next couple years. And yeah, I was writing it and the landscape of the industry changed and those companies no longer exists. So we don’t have the ability to get acquisitions. pennies on the dollar.
But, you know, we’ve identified it, and we’re making moves, doing different types of marketing. I know that those days of getting the best possible leads for a penny per name, and now it’s closer to like 50 to $100 per name. I know those days of the past are no longer here, but you know, put one foot in front of the other and as much as I hated that answer just you saying that you’re smart, you’ll figure it out. It it really changes how I look at the situation that’s so fascinating how just in this exchange, I mean, I’ve I’ve heard a ton about NLP and I’m definitely going to be looking deeper into it. And Omar, I want to be conscious of your time. I could go on literally for the rest of my life in this conversation has been so great, provide so much value, where can people
Find out more about you and find your podcast and your coaching.
Well, thank you, Andrew, I really appreciate the accolades. And the thing is that we all that’s the that’s the story that we all need to believe about ourselves. Listen, you are smart person. You can figure this out. That’s everything. That’s everything. The thing is when I don’t believe that I’m a smart person, that’s when I get triggered. When somebody says, You’re a smart person, person, you’ll figure it out. I’m not a smart person. Right? I was lucky. I don’t even know how this happened. I’m gonna lose everything tomorrow. Right? So there’s, I’m attaching another story to that story to that comment, right and all of a sudden, you just attached a different story to that comment, and now has an entirely different meaning and moving forward when you get stuck.
You’re gonna say to yourself, wait a minute, Andrew. Dude, you’re smart enough man. We can figure this out. We always have.
Boom, and you go right into it. And then then the my next step is connect with your higher power.
Right? Like, that’s all I’m going to say I’m a coach, but I’m always going to say that it’s when you work as hard as we do. I know how much work you’ve done, Andrew, and I know how much work I have done, okay, to get to where I am at today. So it’s not the work that we’re lacking in. Okay, so there’s people that are sitting on the couch going, nothing’s happening for me, nothing will. Okay. Faith without works is dead. But once you’re in the trenches, you’re doing the work. You’ve got the years and the experience, and you get caught.
wondering, oh my god, I don’t know what to do. I’m in trouble. Trust me when I tell you, that’s the time where your connection with your higher power is going to make all the difference. Okay, you sit in silence for seven days.
Every morning the answer will come.
Period. That’s all I’m going to say. The rest of it is You can reach me at www dot Omar pinto.com or you type in the just recovery revolution podcast at recovery revolution podcast calm right to listen to the podcast or go to iTunes stitcher Spotify. Good Lord you just go to Google type in the recovery revolution will come up but the easiest way to find me is go to Omar Pinto calm it’ll have where to contact me all my social media, my coaching everything. Awesome. Well Omar, this has been so incredible. I really appreciate everything that you’re doing. And have a great day. I really appreciate it, man. You too, Andrew. Thanks for having me on the show brot